Lost...

I feel like a shadow of who I used to be,I don't know if that makes sense but it's like my life isn't all it was just weeks ago. My grandfather is sick they have given him about 48 hours left to live,I can tell he's tired of fighting but it's killing me, my mom is a wreck and when i'm around her I try to keep strong but inside I feel broken. I feel myself falling into a depression it takes so much for me to get out of bed,all I want to do is sleep. Even my house chores is such a difficult task. My boyfriend has been amazing, he's been right by my side telling me he's here for me,and it means the world to me,but yet I still feel like I wanna hide in a hole away from everyone. I haven't really cried yet I feel kind of numb...also my grandmother on my fathers side is ill, I am so very close to her, she just found out this rash on her face has pre-cancer cells,so they are going to do a procedure and hopefully all goes well,but today my aunt told me she found a cyst under my grandmothers arm that just appeared. This is all happening in the same time frame and I feel like it's all to much. The start to 2013 has not been a good one and it seems to just be getting worse. I feel my soul breaking and my body feels drained, sometimes I wish I would just break down and maybe that would help some how,but I just cant,not yet. I know it's coming though,I know when my grandfather passes and I see him motionless and soulless I will break down. I found this site when I typed "I'm broken" into google and I felt like maybe writing about how I'm feeling will help, I don't know if anyone will read this and i'm not sure theres much anyone could say to me to make me feel better,but maybe writing this will help in some way. If you have taken the time out of your day to read this,thank you.
sincerely,
Kristen
kThaPrincess kThaPrincess
22-25
1 Response Jan 12, 2013

Just keep your head up, everything happens for a reason and you will learn from it. Keep everyone that you know very close and never let go of them. Just remember, even if grandpa and grandma do pass, they will still be with you mentally and physically. Death is apart of life you must know that. Never look at the glass of water half empty, but look at the glass of water half full.