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My Heart Has Never Been Broken This Long

How do I get back to me? Where do I start ? I forgave him but I still feel trapped as if I am under his spell. I felt he was my soulmate I loved him like no other. I gave him my all. I put my best foot forward I have forgiven him... I know I I I too many I 's can this be over already. So ready to get back to my natural state of mind. My love for him should have died when he walked out on me although it was my decision to break up I begged for him to come back and he did not. I feel abandon and only broke up for him out of anger thinking we would be back in each others arms before night fell. Not knowing that it would be this way it has been 9 months and it is hard to move on because I love him still despite the fact he didn't come back .Gosh we were great together best friends and now nothing. He is suppose to come pick up his gun from my house I reached out to him and told him to stop by and get it. How am I suppose to respond when I see him A kiss A hug A nonchalant attitude what am I suppose to do. I love him but I don't let him know it afraid that he has moved on and will think I am crazzy or feel sorry for me I don't want that. After our breakup we spent a little time together during a project when he was flirtatious I was mean scarred to show him how I really felt help I want out of this love thing I am ready to move on why is it so hard
GlitzDoll GlitzDoll 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 10, 2013

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it is surprising how similar our situations are. all i can tell you is if you love him as much as it sounds, then you cant let him go. tell him how you feel and dont give up. I wish the best of luck to you.

It is amazing how we are from two different backgrounds but still share this same ground !! Life always amaze me and the best part of it all is when I gave up and walked away spiritually in my heart hear he comes knocking again. Letting go is not so bad after all luckjustrock soon as you give up that is when things seem to come together. Backwards but true

Also thank you for commenting I love comments