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I Think Im Finally Numb

he just cant quit...my dh plays "hide and seek" online. he hides hes married and seeks othr women....he has accounts on several single sites....looks up women on myspace...yahoo..anywhere. well he has one, seems serious...from what i have read on his inbox he has talked to this womans mom.  she (his new "friend") is a dancer in a "gentlemans club" so inother words a ********....she left a comment on his page " i have found the love of my life in you"...of course im not susposed to know any of this...so sshhhhhh. he tells me that he has 2 lives...the real one, our life, the one he cares abaout and wants more than life itself.  the online life which is an escape from this one...it means nothing....yea, thats why a few of these women have called hs cell and he calls them....think he has met a few....but he loves me im his "life" and i "mean the world to him" he thinks what he does isnt wrong....it shouldnt hurt me, cant understand why it does....soooo i am trying to make myself numb...after the intial hurt this am....i think i finally am.

melodicmystic melodicmystic 36-40, F 11 Responses Jun 13, 2007

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Wow, that's what I am living right now! Mine has left his marriage to go to the "other life" and thinks a year of breaking up is more real than 20 years. He goes on the dating sites while seeing her and married to me and tells me "it's serious" there. I am trying to work up the courage to end it, but am moving so slowly. It's all of my dreams and future and house and daughter's life to change and nothing we wanted to change.

But knowing the truth and how he treated us helps me when I am down and forgetting who he has become and helps the anger come. I would rather have anger than tears.

I run out of food once in a while, while he is on dating sites that you pay for and unenployment, too. He talks about movies he's seen while I count chips for our daughter who is celiacs (costs extra for many groceries) He lies to our daughter now about where is he and I won't be part of it anymore.

Yet my love for who he was-or the image he created-won't die yet and I don't know how to create new dreams or where to go from here.

I feel mocked, humiliated, embarrassed and so much more. They put this all over the internet while he is still married to me, used pictures I took, put vacations with him and my daughter and took me out of them and so on. He told her I was dead but gets very mad if I speak of it and I don't know why that is. I asked what I died of but he wouldn't tell me.

He is dragging this along and I think the numbness is coming, like you say, melodicmystic, because the pain is so searing and brings me to my knees.

I'm sorry your heart has been hurt. Have a gentle day.

oh ****. He is a ***** you deserve better yadi yada tmrw will bring a new day. Youll find a new erson with a better **** and think back like wtf why was i weeping over that guy!!

Oh my heart goes out to you. I feel the betrayal. I'm so sorry you have been treated like this. I too have experienced this betrayal. It's just so painful.<br />
They enjoy inflicting this pain upon us. Run honey as fast as you can away, and start dating <br />
lovely men asap! :)

oh, I hear ya, sister! Same here! Funny thing is, if he just had the balls to be honest about it, I would actually be fine with it... it's just the sneaking around and hiding that hurts! LOL I bet you could shatter a few illusions if you got to have a chat with this new "friend" of his! She's only seeing him as the "love of her life" because she hasn't yet got to know him like you do! He's very lucky that you're still putting up with him.... he shouldn't take that for granted! Some guys just can't appreciate what's right under their nose, they only get excited by novelty and the new girl that's just slightly out of reach. What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander...... maybe you should start looking elsewhere too?

Wow you ladies sure take an emotional beating with all that ****. Hope you can move on when you're ready.

Are you living my life? I am so numb from all the experiences that I have been put through plus all the times I have caught him with a new site with pictures of him posted looking for a "new" younger person. One that doesn't have a lot of "life's experiences" so that the person(s) wouldn't look down upon him for things he has done. Some young thing that will put him on a pedistal.<br />
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I just thought that I had to put up with the crap because I "choose" to believe him when he tells me "I am no longer playing games and you are the only woman for me." Then I find out later there are new email accounts and new **** sites he is visiting and paying for. Not to mention the new phone numbers in his cell and the abundance of text messages he receives each month plus the thousands of $$$$ I have paid in local chat lines over the past 8 years.....<br />
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Sorry caught myself whining here...It is a "choice" to stay and try to believe everyone of the fabricated lies that come up to explain the $$$ charges and the phone numbers and the out until all hours of the weeeee morning. I have faith that he is telling me the truth and until I can catch him.... I CHOOSE to stay.<br />
<br />
Good luck in your quest for the truth's in your life! Staying numb until you are clear about what you will do to him...for him...with him...against him....NUMB IS A GOOD THING!!!!!

A man who cheats on you will NEVER be a situation which will allow you to be whole, be a good mother, discover new parts to your soul. You will always be focused on him and consumed by your thoughts of him and these other women. In my experience, men like this never change, no matter how much they care for you, no matter how much comfort you get from them. You can move on - you CAN, no matter how impossible it seems - and after a period of withdrawal and pain, you can become a fuller happier more beautiful woman. I know because I've been there. It's so hard but it's worth it.

A man who cheats on you will NEVER be a situation which will allow you to be whole, be a good mother, discover new parts to your soul. You will always be focused on him and consumed by your thoughts of him and these other women. In my experience, men like this never change, no matter how much they care for you, no matter how much comfort you get from them. You can move on - you CAN, no matter how impossible it seems - and after a period of withdrawal and pain, you can become a fuller happier more beautiful woman. I know because I've been there. It's so hard but it's worth it.

I know that you must be really sad and in reality you are an abuse victim. I am the ex-wife of a man who degraded and cheated on me. That was many years ago today my life is together I am married to a wonderful man with three great children. I chose to go on with my life and so must you. God loves you and promises that he will never forsake or abandon you. Men may dissapoint us but he never will!

i agree with euphoria that is bullshit and it's not "Love", would he like to be treated like that i don't think so!!!<br />
I hope you find selfworth and know u deserve the best!!(been there!)<br />
From Feflower