Broken

My Story:

Born in 1950 in Denver.
Mother a city girl from Denver.
Father a country boy from Arizona
Sister four years older

In 1958 I contracted a childhood flue. Mom gave aspirin. I reacted badly; increasing temperature, seizures, coma. Hospital doctors counted me a goner, brain dead.

My aunt Marion Russell formed a prayer group asking God to heal me. One day I woke up. Doctors said I had suffered severe brain damage never to be normal again. Broken

In 1959 my mother ran into the rear of a car. I flew head first into the window. Crushed sinuses, long deep slice a millimeter above my eyes. Six months with my head in a cast.

Parents divorced over the great trauma, stress and expense of my illness and accident.

Went into chronic depression at age 9. Grew up with a criminal abusive stepfather.

Graduated High school lost and depressed. Cut a record in 1968. Won awards. The group fell apart. Went to colleges. Studied commercial art and abnormal psychology. Failed

High school friend made me go to church where I met Christ.

Smoking 3.5 packs of cigarettes a day. Quit in 1974, God removed the desire. In 1975 married the most beautiful 20 year old woman in the world. Went back to college studied Christian counseling, Biblical languages and seminary. Graduated with honors with two earned degrees.

While in seminary my beautiful wife got a job at a dentist's office. She and the dentist had sex several times a day. I was unaware, wondering but believed her when she said she was faithful. I was living a lie in complete ignorance.

She gave me two beautiful boys. Thought they were mine.

Left town because she was home sick. Lost a high paying job as a result. The truth was she felt bad about the affair and wanted to leave. 1982 took a church in her old home town.

Ministry did not go well. Women in the church thought my wife was trying to seduce their husbands and hated my children. I burnt out trying to be a successful father, husband, pastor in 1988. Wanted to die most of the time. Went to Dallas to Minerth Myer Clinic to recover.

My wife was having a affair with a man in the church but I did not know it. When I left town she started another affair with a man she met while snow skiing.

I returned and took another church and a secular job. While at a regional pastors meeting out of town I felt strongly that I had to go home. I got home, went into the bedroom to find pillow stuffed to look like she was sleeping there.

My two small boys slept while their mother was out having sex with another man. She showed up early in the morning. At this time confessed it all. I went nuts. Bad things happened but nothing criminal except that one of her boy friends tried to kill me. We decided to stay together and she repented.

I took several jobs, continued to be depressed and tried to keep it together. My wife was repentant, accountable and thankful we did not divorce. At this time the kids were 9 and 11 - 1989

From there it was a strange, confusing, maturing journey. It caused a permanent change in me. My whole life and belief system starting being revised. Seeing a true repentance in Sue helped me cope.

The implications of this truth answered many questions. My ministries never went very well. People liked me as a pastor but disliked my wife and family. Knowing why sent me back to early marriage years.

My wife started having affairs just a few years into my our marriage. Mostly with much older men. As we worked through the challenges it became clear that her brothers and her father sexually abused her when she was very very young.

It became clear that I do not understand much.

As a result of all this I was banned from ministry by my denomination. I took several secular jobs. Co-workers always came to calling me pastor. Since my job was not to be a pastor this played havoc with my supervisors. Eventually I secured a position in a corrections facility as chaplain.

In the year 2000 something I was trying to fix inside broke all the way. It was an ineffable surrender to my broken condition.

Once a person asked, "Who are you?" I replied with the following list.
I am an eight year old boy who died of Rye's syndrome but us is alive. I am a man who flunked out of college but earned three degrees and honors from a University. I am a young college student father husband who went to have his Collin removed from ulcerate colitis that has a perfect in tack healthy Collin thirty years later. I am a man that married the most beautiful woman in the world who learn she was unfaithful to me for fifteen years before I found out but is still happily married to my first wife. I am a person that was pronounced brain dead at eight, told he was to stupid to earn a college degree at 20 that holds earned degrees 2 BA 1 MA and 2 AA graduating with honors. I am a shopkeeper who started with nothing, was told by everyone he would fail that has the bills paid and the  shop continuing for now six years.

durum durum
56-60
1 Response Feb 26, 2009

Wow....this is amazing...you have turned everything around in your life to work in your favor.. I have one question thought....are you happy?