I don't feel broken inside, I am broken inside. Just a empty vessel waiting to expire, often people around me throw out the line "that's life" or "just keep moving forward" but to be honest I feel like the only way for me to recover is death. This is not depression, because I don't feel down, I don't feel anything.
I am a empath, and it's not fun. The traumas I've experienced in life have shattered all of my humanness, I feel like I'm a alien wearing a human skin suit. To be myself is to be a outcast, and to fit in is to act. I should win a Oscar.
theShamanDon theShamanDon
31-35, M
3 Responses Aug 18, 2014

Pretender is right. Depression isn't always about being sad. It's more complicated than that.

The thing is, even if you feel numb eventually you will feel again you just need time & a lot of positive vibes! Your mind is stronger then you think don't let all these things get in the way I know it's hard going through things but be strong so you can be like I made it later in life & just think of all the people that would be extremely hurt if you actually did do something tragic like that.
Remember everything is just in your brain even depression, everyone is quick on saying you need a doctor or whatever like your weak minded or something. NO ' you got this!

What you're describing is also depression. It doesn't always mean sadness, feeling hollow is my depression, and I can relate to many of the things you said, especially the last part. Check my screen name. :) I even attempted suicide once but what changed my mind and what keeps me going is the fact that even this is better than 'nothingness'. This still has some possibilities, some juice to be squeezed out somewhere.. I don't want to waste that potential for fun. And so I wait and find small things to be happy and excited about everyday.. I have no 'life plans' and I really don't care if I die tomorrow.. but not by my hands..not just yet. I do have mood swings which make me feel otherwise but this thought keeps me going. Maybe you should look at it from that way too.. live just to live.. not because life is precious or any such thing..

Thanks for taking the time to comment, and I know everyone's circumstances are different, but I just needed to let some of that energy off me. I'm an empath, so my world view is probably coming from a different perspective. Due to the traumas I have experienced in this life, my spirit and Consciousness are separate from my body. The hollowness is a constant, sometimes it just gets really hard containing everything.