Whats The Point To My Life Anymore

I can't stand being myself anymore. I just wanna rip and tear myself apart.
I feel so useless, worthless, dead, empty. People say to me just be myself, try and be happy or snap out of it, but at the same time they don't realize that by them saying that it only rubs salt in the wound. I dont wanna be a burden for everyone that has to be around me at work or at home. I have these constant thoughts these last 2 or 3 years of k*****g myself. I have always felt like im nothing or am never adequate enough and it has really ruined my life. Enough is enough. I've had it. To hell with everything.
monkeylala monkeylala
26-30, M
1 Response Sep 12, 2012

Wow.. Its so unhealthy to feel like that, dont get me wrong I feel like that at times but I try to be strong and not let it kill me in my thoughts emotionally nor physically. Maybe you just need to get away, go for a vacation and just set your mind free.. Just dont let that break you, you only live life once.. Love and be loved.. Hope all ends well..

Another day going by, still feel the same, nothings changed, still trying to hold on to whatever thats left inside of me.

=/ If you need someone to just talk to, im here...

Thank you for being so kind. You know everytime i try and talk to my family, all it ends up doing is pushing the gap even further. I know they mean well and all. Its hard to find someone who actually understands and who will listen. For e.g i used to be quite close to one of my cousins, but slowly as time went by, we both grew up, did our own thing. So now we dont see each other as much. He was like a brother to me. I guess im still upset about that. I kind of sometimes blame myself when people distance themselfs away from me. I hate to project the negative me but at the moment its really hard because nothing seems to be going my way. I think a big part of my problem is i have no self confidence at all. people say that im a timid person. I try so hard to be positive about myself, never works though, i just end up crawling back into my little bubble and hide in my little shell.