I Am Confused With My Life

I dont know what has been happening to me lately.  when i was in highschool i thought i had my whole life thoughtout and now it is like i made a mistake with my choice.  i have decided to go to an art school to become a special effects artist and i was so settled on the thought i like art and i like computers and it interests me a lot.  before i left highschool i started to get confused with my life.  someone asked me if this was my dream? if this was what i dreamt about since i was a child?  the truth is it was not my dream since i was child it was simply something i liked to read about and know. 

what i really like to do is sing and i dreamt about it since i was a child and when i started mentioning it to my parents years ago that i wanted to sing they told me it was not a career choice that it leads to nothing.  they made sure to keep me away from thinking of singing for a living.  they didnt care if i sang around the house or anywhere as long as i didnt make it a life choice.  i asked for singing lessons when i was young like 13 years old and i was denied them because supposively there was no money but than i found out they paid for my brother to be in little league baseball.  i thought myself to move away from the thought and told myself it was too late for me to do anything about singing.  i started singing bad to forget about the idea. 

i learned that as much as you want your dream to go away it will catch up to you in the long run.  now that my dream is back i have been trying to improve my singing and taking out my out lyrics and its been frustrating because i dont sound the same as before.  i go to college for special effects and it is my first year so it is a lot of work and tiring.  the singiing has been put off till vacation times but i still practice. 

thing now is  my mother says i cant sing that i sound off a lot and i am started to believe her again.  everyone looks at me weird when i say i want to sing and make it big one day. 

i got into my school like a miracle.  i cannot draw like those people at my school.  they are soo much better than i am.  i am always scared to what the new examines are going to be and i am always embarrased to show my work.  everyone there seems to want that so much and i really like what i am doing it is fun and interesting but im confused if i should stay focused on this or singing?  should i try to make someting of myself? 

my grandmother sees how good i am at drawing fashion and thinks i should go into fashion and my family agrees.  my father just wants me to do something with college.  my cousin wants me to write lyrics or a book.  i dont know what to do with my life i just want to be happy for once and not filled with so much anxiety and stress.  it is not fun being confused.  what should i do???

ConfusedTime ConfusedTime
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 3, 2010

Dear ConfusedTime, you don't have to make a perfect choice (coz there is no such thing). Art, fashion drawing, computers, singing ... it all seems to make you happy. Be happy you have these choices. Pick one, knowing that life is a learning journey and you can and will change as your grow.<br />
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Start off with a choice and try your best but most of all, be happy with it. They all call to you in some fashion. Let whatever you choose, show you why it calls to you. They all have the seed of happiness and learning in them.<br />
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And what it the worse that can happen? You learn something and you can choose again? Give it a go! That is what life is for.<br />
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Good luck and the very best of peaceful wishes to you.