I should be fine.  Good job, great friends, good life in general.

I tend to be a 'life and soul of the party' type.  People see me as the boldest, least shy and most sociable. But, after a night out i always go home alone... i have no one. And who can i share this with? No one! I want to share my life...

Regardless - no matter how i shape or mould myself.  Despite all the smiles my cheeky, careless, unique personality brings.  Although I feel welcomed and accepted by friends and colleagues - i am completely isolated.  I have no one!

I was rejected by the only person i will ever care for - this was a few years ago.  From me was the kind of love that would shatter all barriers.  Whether physical, emotional or even unknown, i would have decimated them a thousand times over for her...

She considers me a friend now, just a friend:





And that makes me happy.  For her.

But ****!!! What the **** about me!? When the **** did i fall through the cracks on the floor of happiness!? This life is mine and you're still the only thing that keeps my hopes alive!  Is the problem you or me? You're still everything to me. And the worst part... i think you know this.

I'm honestly lost.  A shell.




itsjustshit itsjustshit
3 Responses Mar 21, 2009

that my friend is called obsession..... i understand how it feels, one day you will laugh about this trust me.<br />
you dont need this girls love and attention to feel important, you already are and its too sad you can not see it yourself.

I know how you feel friend.

Perhaps in time she will see that this is what she means to you.<br />
Perhaps she is on the verge of realising it.<br />
Perhaps you should tell her.