Overflowing Ribcage

In regard to feeling, it is as if I am protected by a thin veil of archaic armor, whilst the majority I have come across are shielded with a bulletproof suit and helmet.
Being an emotional sponge can be drastically discouraging when in unhealthy atmospheres. It is emotionally distressing on an unconscious level for everyone, but with conscious emotional intuition, one is more aware of the damage being dwelt.

Not only am I aware of the emotive, but also I am seemingly and consistently unique in this way of absorption – doubling the potential pain. An individual with similar emotional sensitivities and/or experiences are few and far between; perhaps because sensitive beings truly are rare, or perhaps it is because they are are unlikely to be frank about such deep emotions (and living in an apparently desensitized and ignorant world doesn't help matters) – or perhaps a bit of both.

Feeling deeply may be partly due to my heightened ability to be self-aware and self-observing, in general. I am mindful that self-awareness can be quite beneficial; yet, when profound sadness, bitterness, and fear synthesize to imprison and paralyze, I am all the more conscious of its effects. This can be torturous; but, ultimately, I consider that it pushes me to get rid of the source of distress far more earnestly... to seek a healthy, everlasting solution.

After a span of time, I have found ways to cope with and overcome the negative effects of an abyss of sensation. It took many passing moons of struggling in endless circles, but nowadays I refuse to allow such outside, twisted negativity overcome me. I have full faith that there is a purpose in every fragment of life – suffering notwithstanding (and I am not suggesting that suffering is absolutely necessary, but I am saying that there can always be meaning in all of it if it does occur). Perhaps, for now, I haven't found the ability to orchestrate my sensitivity to emotions; however, I can control my attitude and general reaction. That is my responsibility. Although I am nowhere near my goal, I strive towards betterment every single day. And I have been discovering, layer by layer, how much I have progressed in this curious process. That is most certainly worth mentioning.

On a profoundly positive note, there are also infinitely favorable effects with being a sensitive individual. I am inclined towards being a humane, intuitive, empathetic, understanding, passionate, and creative creature because of feeling so much. It certainly plays a part in me being an artist. It may all go hand-in-hand. When in a positive atmosphere and mindset, I have such clear vision and imagination. I feel indescribably beautiful: passionately alive and freely loving; yet, also, peaceful and patiently awaiting to acquire and share wisdom (for I am an avid lover of wisdom). So vividly I desire to reach out and spread my spirit of Love. There is heavenly elements within, that are as unique as I am, and for that, I am forever grateful.

Even when I do or do not feel the spectrum of pleasing emotions, I seek liberating truth; in doing so, I slowly learn to control my emotions in a healthy fashion, as opposed to allowing them to manipulate me. I allow my sincere self to not drown in the invading, cloudy rain. Truth is the greatest offense to that which offends me! And truthfully, emotions are not everything, despite how persuading they may be. A recent revelation, although simple when considered, has revealed to me that truth based out of emotions can be quite deceptive, but emotions rooted in truth can be accentuating (i.e. by feelings of encouragement, peace, joy, inspiration, passion...).
And although I may not always feel so, I am gifted with beautiful value – even if not seen by the naked eye. I am free... and so are you.

DustToAshes DustToAshes
22-25, F
May 23, 2012