It Keeps Coming Back

The worst part is that whenever i think my depression is gone, it keeps coming back. Sometimes i feel simply satisfied and grateful for whatever i have in life, but other times i feel so lonely, empty, and pointless. The more i live, the more i hate living. I try to see the positive side in life but how can i do that when i get into more problems everyday and when i feel like my life isnt really important. How can i look at the positive side when i see the bad things happening around me, when i see all the betrayal, when i see how many people break my heart. when i feel this sore burn every single day. All i want is to be happy and live in peace but i don't see that happening anytime soon. Lately, the tiniest things make me cry and that only happens when i feel depressed. I can't imagine living like this for the rest of my life, id rather be dead. I hope there are people who can understand what im saying, because i know im not alone. All i can say is that i know hope is always there, and its the only thing i can trust at this point.

HeartLove HeartLove
18-21, F
6 Responses Feb 12, 2010

My advice is to accept the world as it is, and try to create a life that is enjoyable and meaningful. Everything external will be what it will be. <br />
If that doesn't work, well, there's still the hammer :P

Good to hear that things are better !<br />
:)

Yes i agree with what you said. Actually its been a year since i wrote this, and thank god things have changed for the better for me. Now i know that we can't change the world but we can change ourself and our perspective for life as you said.<br />
thanks for your comment! :)

I hear ya.. I've had similar feelings for years. I've been better lately. The world has not changed, but my perspective has. I've learned to just accept reality as it is. I might not like it, but I sure as hell can't change it. All I can do is not contribute to the ruination of society and the environment. Seeing everything for how it really is can certainly bring you down. That's why they say ignorance is bliss. Instead of knocking yourself with a hammer, just accept the reality and try to spread your goodness as much as you can. Might feel a bit better, too.

wow you really put things in more prespitive for me even though it's only a few words. I hope things turn out better for you as well, thank you :) (true smile).

well,<br />
heartlove,<br />
i feel same.<br />
<br />
would love to say something that might give you hope.<br />
but i can't.<br />
<br />
my distaste for life for life,<br />
is exceeded only,<br />
by my fear of dying.<br />
<br />
and so,<br />
on it goes.<br />
<br />
good luck with your's.