A Lot Different
I am sixteen, will turn seventeen within three months. I am aware of the lack of stability that is normal for this age, but of course we do have our common things. From a little before my fifteenth birthday until today, the people in my environment have changed their lifestyle. A great deal. Before, we were quite innocent. We went to school, we did our homework(or pretended to), we saw each other on free afternoons and weekends. Talking, laughing. Crying sometimes, but never long. We did things that were absolutely ridiculous but so much fun(such as buying lots of chocolate ice cream and climb a tree to eat it).
I liked that time. It seems now as if the affects of the differences in the things we have seen and experienced in our early childhoods didn't show much back then. Now, everyone has changed. All in a different way.
So, during the time we all turned fifteen, the common things started to sneak in. Alcohol, cigarettes. I went along, but gave up on it after a few weeks. I have been through a lot of trouble the last few years, but different from the rest of us. Lately it seems as if everyone is involved in drinking, smoking pot, treating sex without enough care, or at least one of those things.
I have been drunk in my life. A few times. But it is not my way. I did not enjoy it at all. I do not like going out. I dislike crowded pubs filled with drunk people, loud music, and smoke. I do not like people I have never met being randomly introduced to me while their breath smells like whiskey. Girls with way too little flesh on their bones wearing tops with their breasts being pushed out until just a little above their nipples, flirting with people they do not know, bother me. The smell of pot disgusts me. I usually do not go to parties. I wait until the next day to hear the stories about people lighting their vodka shots on fire, drinking until they pass out on the floor, getting stoned and pushing their tongue down a stranger's throat, and I will know I did not miss out on anything. I have been told that is fun. I don't see the fun. It is so empty. So meaningless. So weak.
The worst thing is that of some, I know they are better than that. They know I know they are better than that. But I can call out all I want; I will not be heard.
So I stay here. I write. I go to school, I pretend to do my homework. I talk to the people I still understand, and who still understand me. I am doing fine. But everyone knows that I am not like the rest of us.