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Maybe This Is Just Who I Am

Have you ever seen Alice In Wonderland? I remember seeing that movie for the first time. I watched, keenly aware of how much I grinned as she went on her fantastic journey. I was no stranger to delusional adventures. Being my fathers only child, and living with him nearly all the time, I was more than accustomed to delving into my own imagination for entertainment. I would pack up my belongings and set out on some sort of adventure in the garden of our apartment building. And when I couldn't do that I drew and wrote. I preferred my own company to the dullness of other children my age. I did not understand their structured games of tag; the limits, to me, defeated the purpose of having fun. So I suppose I never truly felt connected to my peers.

And after the trauma of losing both my father and a long term boyfriend, I do find it difficult to cope. I much prefer my books, my notebook, my instruments and my clay to that of human company at times. I find contentment in solitude; it isn't so much that I prefer being alone, but sometimes I feel like I just simply do not connect with others. So instead, while they're trapped here, I'm off in my Wonderland.
MusicLoveAndPeace MusicLoveAndPeace 18-21, F 9 Responses Mar 21, 2013

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Try meeting someone, and finding someone you can trust and opening up to them.

I related to u I recently feel disconnected to anyone of my friends...somehow...I don't wanna talk much to them and feel like only Myself could understand me. I have no idea what's going on

Dear Friend,
Please come out of the seclusion that you have chosen...
It can turn out to be disaster at some moment in life.
You should start talking, chatting, meeting people soon... could be of same sex or opposite, could be of same age much different.
This is like Parental Advise to you, but you need one of the Parents.
lots of love to you.

There is a big difference between being alone, and being lonely! The day will come when you find someone who likes fantastical journey's as much as you do, and it will be grand. In the meantime, enjoy yourself!

Alice did have a wonderful journey,and I think you will too. Your still young and you have
your whole life a head of you, enjoy your wonderland! :) lol

It seems to me that at your young age you have figured out what it has taken other people a lifetime to get. You need your escapes from the pain. Everyone has some way to do so, and yours are healthy ways. One thing about isolating yourself is that when you are called upon to interact with others, it is extremely difficult. I think your artistic endeavors will be with you and will hold you up. An animal can also help you feel better.

In a time of difficulty for me right now this has put a smile on my face. I've had a lot of bad memories come back recently but reading this had made me remember the games me and my friend would play when we was young. We was never one to stick to the games with rules, we would pretend to be in films and stuff like that...good times :)

Thank you.

You're very welcome!! =)

With a crazy best friend a journey to the shops is a journey to wonderland..

Dont worry too much about coping, keep talking :) The people you can not chat to about all the small things to complex emotions are the ones to avoid.

Sometimes disconnection is supremely peaceful

I do enjoy not having to deal with the drama people bring. I guess more than feeling something's wrong with me, I feel like I should feel like something is wrong with me.