False Friendship

we were friends so i thought. you were seperated from your wife and i am seperated from my husband.we both enjoyed each others company laughing and drinking .forgetting the world.watching movies.we had a connection.i was scared you were falling for me i wanted to be just friends. all your messages and calls were ok but too many. you got jealous if my phone would ring.friends do not do that. you said we have a connection i felt we had known each other longer then we really had.you started complimenting me all the time i thought you were just cheering me up. i let you hold me i thought it was because we both needed it.its been so long and we both knew we cared for one another.you promised just friends. i felt so safe with you i trusted you. now i feel like garbage.you stopped calling me i started to worry because you said you were feeling really sick the last time i saw you. i looked after you. cared for you made sure you were comfortable. a connection between frinds is sacred or so i thought. i messaged you a couple of times and called i began to panic. you always stayed in touch. you told me i was amazing and fun to be with and sexy. you told me your ex hurts you and is no good and is a bad mother. i always listened to you and cheered you.up. i asked you in a message to please call me you did the thing i hate most the thing i could strangle someone for so direspectful you messaged me about how you no longer can see me we can not be friends you want your kids and your wife.all this is ok but not in a message. you made me feel like i am nothing. now you message me and annoy me i am over all your drama. you finally called today to my dismay i never wanted to hear your voice again. you yelled at me and got upset with everything i said i know you did not ring because you are hurting knowing i will never see you again.you will never be able to hold me in your fake embrace of friendship. i wanted to hang up on you but i needed to know. if you lie like everyone i know. you made me feel so guilty because you are trying to work it out with your wife now and i was spending time with you even if it was just friendship. you made me lose trust, self esteem and myself. i thought who are my friends not you. i want ed to hate you with all my heart. why yell at me you made your choice.we both know you will be unhappy. i am not going to wait for you when she betrays you again.you will just have to sit in silence and remember my laugh my smile and how caring i was towards you my friend. you know you will never find another friend like me.one who put up with you the way i did. i have too much pride and i have my own life to worry about yours.i need people in my life who respect me . a true friend calls you and tells them what is happening. your short message left me thinking i am nothing and eveything was a lie. i hate you. you were scared i would hate you and i do. stay away from me. i am no longer the kind friend you thought i was or at least i will pretend. i will never speak to you again. you know all my pain i trusted you. you know i would hurt.you did not have the balls to call me.why wait till today. i was over it all. to yell at me when i ask questions.trying to make me feeel sorry for you. i am glad you have your children back and i am sad you will live in misery with your cruel wife and i meant it when i said i wish you the best of luck. but the one thing i truely meant was when i said goodbye. my goodbye was forever. friends do not yell at me and true friends do not simply disappear. i am not your friend i do not want you to be mine. i was easily disposable. i know i am special and you know i am too. i will stay strong and special.you are disposable to me now. you are nothing i have already begin to forget what you look like and things you said.you are poison.i will make sure you are kept well out of reach. i am not going to think about the things you yelled at me for.i know i hurt you with the questionns i asked even though they were not cruel you just took them to heart. i will not miss you i will only miss the connection we had. i know what i am capable of i can make friends easily i will one day find a true connection one that will never be broken one that will never cause pain or hurt worry. you will be miserable and live in regret you regret already. that is your problem not mine .i have deleted you.deleted you from my mind my phone my life.

freeangel freeangel
31-35, F
4 Responses Apr 13, 2010

he is suffering. he has his kids now i am happy for him.sad he is living with someone who he hates though

I know its his loss.I hope i will always be here for u

thank you your sweet.i know it is his loss and he regrets it already : )

I don't think you are disposable. You sound so strong and sure of yourself. if you ask me, I think it's his loss.