Hunger

Staring out the window,
Watching the world fly by.
All of my life,
I’ve been longing for something.
For a piece of me that has been missing from me.
Staring out the window watching the world fly by; as if I was searching for something. Pretending that I’ve found what I so desperately crave,
Seeing myself complete.
I feel its absence.
Who I wanted to be versus who I was.
To be "great",
to be indispensable.
To be someone.
Now that I'm older, I don't really want to be anything
other than just me.
What am I supposed to do when the thing that’s supposed to make me feel strong and flawless ends up leaving me feeling nothing but emptiness.
The questions left unasked, the questions left unanswered, the unspoken separating the two.
All the parts of myself that I keep locked up, hidden away, just so I can have something that is only mine to keep.
So you won’t have my full heart. So then you can’t take everything.
When my walls come crashing down when I’m with you.
The words that take over and destroys you.
The silence that comes along and heals you. The distance that remains, separating the two.
The distance between where you’ve started and where you’ve ended up.
rxcsoccerstar rxcsoccerstar
22-25, F
May 14, 2012