Where Does My Inner Emptiness Come From?

I have been lonely for many years as I have no family and, although I have some friends, this is not the same. The void in my life by being so alone really gnaws at me the whole time. I feel that I don't matter. My counsellor thinks my emptiness is a symtom of borderline personality disorder but I think it is simply a normal reaction to being so lonely. Why do feelings have to be treated as a medical condition?
Fran54 Fran54
51-55, F
6 Responses May 21, 2012

Mulhollandrive-do you have a lot of people in your life but are unable to feel their love and concern for you, or are you alone, like me? I am asking because of the comment made by scracthedxthronwrists that with bpd you have people, but still feel completely alone.

I have bpd, so I know what its like to feel empty. I can almost visualize what the void inside me looks like sometimes. Its like a large vase that you pour water in, but the bottom is missing so it never fills up. I understand:)

Thank you for your kind comment, saddenwolf. Is there any chance you could reconnect with any of your estranged family members or are things too broken down between you for this to happen? <br />
I will continue to try and build a life for myself. The one thing which keeps me going is the hope that one day I will meet someone nice to settle down with and not be so alone any more.

I live far away from them. When I became depressed at 20 most of them understood my depression and walked away the rest just didn't care.
So i moved away to start a new life. hope is always alive around us. warm wishes....

My heart goes out to you. I wish you the best of luck in turning around you life. I am estranged from most of my family. I only speak to them in brief facebook comments which is not the same especially around the hoildays. I have learned that a good caring friend can be just as good as family. But hoildays are always hard.

Thank you for your lovely reply. I am sorry that you also feel so alone. Do you have no family either, or are you estranged from them?<br />
I spoke to my counsellor today and she said she isn't qualified to make a diagnosis in the first place. <br />
I love this site as I get so much understanding here.

how wrong is your counsellor, of course your feelings of emptiness are a normal reaction to loneliness, like you say why do normal human feelings have to be linked to a medical condition, feeling alone and being without people is a very empty way of being. i hope things change for you and you do not always feel so alone. i feel the same way though.xx

"Forget" the counsellor ! Some of them are in it to keep you coming back and back because they are making MONEY off of you ! Please do open up to others around you and let them know that you dont walk around with rose colored glasses and look down your nose at the rest of society. Ypo will be suprised at how people will respond to the new you.

BPD is like when you DO have enough people around, but carry on like you have nobody anyway.