Do You Want My Emotions? I Don't Need Them.

Empty, hollow, whatever you want to call it, is what I’m not feeling. I’m numb. I’m young and I really just don’t seem to care. What’s the point of feeling something if it’s only going to backfire on you? People say that they can feel happiness and sadness… well what about us who don’t give a **** about anything else and just want to be left alone? It’s so much easy and simpler to just feel nothing, to not bother with anything else, it takes too much energy to bother pretending to smile when I don’t feel it. Some times I catch myself wondering just why bother? On good days I stop myself from thinking any further... but on bad days, well what’s the point? I fantasize about how nice it could be if I just didn’t bother anymore and just separated myself from life.
Emotions? You can have them, I don’t want them. Being hollow’s better.
How do I act in front of other people might give you an idea of who I am. People say I’m violent, that I’m generous, and don’t like to take things from others. I don’t take thing from others because then I would owe them; I am violent because it shows others that if you come near me your going to get hurt. When people play that trust game, I’ll catch you better I will NEVER put my trust in some one else, its just easier being on my own and numb. Give up on emotions----they only end in pain.
Want my opinion? It would have been better to have never had emotions in the first place. Don’t bother trusting someone, their only going to betray you, and for people who think that there is good in everyone? Don’t forget theirs bad in everyone too, it’s impossible for a person to really understand another, so don’t bother.
You don’t have to care about anything that I’ve just written, its not going to do anything for me cause why bother? If you actually bothered to read this entire thing… well then thanks, you’re the first person:’)
numb4life numb4life
18-21
Jan 9, 2013