Now and Then

i just get to feeling that there is non reason for my being.it scares me.i feel like i don`t really exsist .that i am nothing but a shell.then i wonder if it is even real.today,i have really felt empty.the knowledge of a freind lieing in a hospital bed ,close to death.it has brought my old freind,and the darkness.it feels so cold and indifferent.all this world seems to offer is pain.but i will keep moving foward.i have a nice and nephew that will need me.i just hope i am strong enough.