My Story...

before i became depressed i felt astho id put on weight, and i wasn't happy with my figure at all. I then tried to diet but it didnt work i jus kept comfort eating, then a few weeks later, for reasons which i'm not sure about, i became depressed and started gettin paranoid that everyone was talking abou me, i then became axious, randomly and i don't no why. I then became slightly obsessed with looking at the amount of calories in everything i ate. So i started eating less, and skipped meals, now most days i hate eating and hate the feeling of bein even slightly full, i'd rather be hungry, i feel i have some control over my life if i don't eat and feel hungry. Due to my low self esteem i started self harming, which didnt help anything, as my friends became more worried abou me, which didnt help me as i though id let them all down everytime i didnt eat and everytime i cut myself which makes me feel like a failure

if anyone truely understands my story, plzz leave me a comment i need 2 talk to someone who can understand me.

thnx xxxx 

xXmissyXx xXmissyXx
18-21, F
5 Responses Apr 4, 2007

I'm 118 pounds and am 5ft 7 and 15 years old. I only eat 170 calories each day and I don't know what is happening to me

I understand how you feel. i feel it all the time, like im starving hungry and if i get something to eat, checking the calories, fat, saturates & carbs, but afterwards i really, really, regret it!<br />
I think, that if you think your doing this cos u want to lose weight you should like have an idea in your head of what weight you want to be or dress size so that you got something to look to. But skipping meals actually makes you put on weight wheras if u eat little but often (every hour) such as fruit, low fat yoghurts and cereal bars and you'll feel better x

Wow, I definitely understand where you are coming from. I've told myself "hunger is your friend- I WANT to be hungry". It's also gotten to the point of throwing up my food and taking laxatives every day. I can't talk to anyone and I feel like I'm alone. It's nice to know that someone is out there that understands this problem of hating my body. Maybe we can be a support system for each other.

I developed an eating disorder at the age of 11, and everything you sya rings loud and true. My advice to you is please seek proffessional help. Trust me, it's not a good place to be in, where your entire life is consumed with thoughts of self hatred and abstaining from food. You have to be your own best friend. Because soon people will grow tired of you and your self-distructive ways. You have to get help, and if you need to vent out or ask for advice, you can leave a msg.

Have you tried to go to counseling for either one of these problems? I wish I could help but the decision to get help will be yours to make. You sound like a very nice person. I had a good friend once who was Bulimic. Its a really tough battle any eating disorder! Its almost impossible to get through it alone without some kind of professional help. Maybe someone else reading this will have more experience and be able to give you some good advice. This is a great web site I am glad you opened up. I will pray for you.