Never Enough

Last year, I starved myself to 110.  A few months ago, I started a relationship and gained weight.  I guess I felt really happy and ate a lot more.  However, I feel terrible because of my new body.  I hate it and feel so unconfident.  I try to lose weight, but it's hard.  I'm torn... I think I realized I have a problem when I took 30 laxatives the other day.  My body is never good enough and I don't feel beautiful.
monarch17 monarch17
18-21, F
3 Responses Apr 18, 2007

Actually gaining weight isnt bad at all, if you want to be a skeleton, go ahead and hang around a gravyard but some weigbt is amazing and if you do that to lose weight, that is a serious problem

You need to go to places where fat, especially fat women, are not only appreciated but worshipped! There are several experiences like that here on EP.

I know how you are feeling. I hate my body too. I've had an eating disorder for 8 years, and never feel thin enough. I want to die a lot of the time. You're not alone. Maybe we should just get really angry and crush the "system". You know what I mean?