We Are the Reincarnation of Our Thoughts

Like Jynx - I felt fat when I was really just right.  I had a poor body image and low self esteem.  I was invited to sing with a prestigious choral and did but when I'd get home from singing with them - I'd eat a whole bag of potato chips because of my social anxiety.  Those chips would temporarily comfort me.  I still do that and have fought the feeling fat battle for many many years.  Every once in awhile I think I've overcome my feeling fat complex and my not good enough complex - but they always come back to haunt me. 

So all my life I've had a talent to share but when I do - the backlash is way too much for me to handle.  I wish I could love myself enough to get over it.

So, if you are reasonably near your correct weight - praise yourself - don't think you are fat - it will boomerang back to haunt you!
moxiesurvivor moxiesurvivor
66-70, F
7 Responses Jun 12, 2007

I actually got lower than My goal weight recently, without even trying to as I was incredibly stressed and not eating. I was only at that weight for a few days and its since gone back up, but I am again working to get back to My LTG.. it never ends..

Ive been there myself, and now i AM fat, im wondering, "what the ****" ! You have a talent to share and well done you for finding the courage to share it, if the backlash is potato chips, so be it, but dont give up the courage!

i remember the beginning of 'health' in my life a few years back. i despised even the mere thought of 'working out' ... i forced myself. i found something (dance and kickboxing) that i enjoyed. there were days i'd not 'feel' like it and believe it or not ... i felt worse not having just done the dang workout! for whatever reason my body became used to it, dependant on it, and came to truly enjoy it. i believe my initial feelings toward working out had something to do with that being the true testament, the reality of as well as my acceptance that i had gained weight and was thereby doing something about it. i spose it's better to do something about than to let it go. thing of it is ... all that exercise was a God send in my life. it allowed me to heal from past hurts, it strengthened me both physically and emotionally, and it gave me an outlet for my anxiety... go figure! the very thing i despised the most ended up being the very thing that would save me from myself...

Thanks Radiant . . . There is such a thing as letting one's self go and that is what I did by sitting behind a desk for 20 years and not working out. I partied a lot too and ate and drank like a crazy person sometimes. You can see all of that on me now. And, I never did feel like working out and I still don't feel like working out. Wish I did!!!

Big or Begger or Bigger still or Biggest.<br />
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Good or Better or even Better or the Best. <br />
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Smart or Smarter or even Smarter or the Smartest. <br />
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Pretty or Prettier or even Prettier or the Prettiest. <br />
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Small or smaller or even smaller or the smallest. <br />
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Do you get it? You are always a basic type. You just get more or less of it. <br />
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If I weighed 50 pounds less, I would be very small but I would still be an hour glass shape. <br />
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Someone else could be exactly my weight and height and age, and loos 50 pounds. They would then be very small but a pear shape. <br />
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And the individual can never change his or her type. So ENJOY yourself. <br />
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You are you and you were made well. <br />
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Sincerely, <br />
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You won't believe this but there is a 75 year old woman on NBC right now dancing and singing. She's wearing a mini skirt and looks pretty darn good for her age. <br />
She isn't letting them give her the brush off either. She got 2 yeses and one no.<br />
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Like you - eating is a great pleasure to me. I've been mostly up - but have lost 35 pounds in the past year. I don't know why my hunger has abated but I'm so happy it has. I love to read and eat but have been trying not to put the two together - either read or eat. I've learned to substitute yogurt for ice cream, gave up sodas to the diet god, and have changed one baby step at a time because going on a diet is too much of a shock and it actually causes a person to want to eat more because they are depriving themselves. I am now trying to put more color in my diet. I'm such a carb lover (addict). I could probably live on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without too much difficulty. I have never been much of a cook. I did it when my kids needed it but now they cook for me! LOL

Touches', I've always had an issue with my weight. If I had more discipline I'd probably be anorexic but I love to eat.<br />
I've been up and I've been down. It seems like I always want to loose 5 to 10 lbs. Busy I'm ok but boredom and TV are my killers. For some reason watching a fun movie or something I like on TV and having a "snack" is a real treat for me. I think the real killer is being alone so much of the time. I go into TV land to relax after a day of chores and whatever and want a little something to lighten my mood and then I eat it and since I'm absorbed in something on the tube I don't even enjoy it that much. Silly really.