Bad Body Image ...

i was a rather thin and tall child, however, my stepfather always told me, "the only thing small about you is your nose and your ears!"  little did he know, or maybe he did know, these words would go off in my ears for the rest of my life much like a burgular alarm each time i felt hunger. 

while i don't know one woman who sincerely delights in her body, i attempt to accept mine for exactly what it is.  since my accident i've gained weight.  thankfully i started out a bit too thin.  while i'm overweight, i'm not obese or anywhere near it.  although my s.o. doesn't seem to think i'm overweight at all.  but i know the truth.  the doctor knows the truth.  and now you do too.  i've gained 15-20 lbs in the last 3.5 years due to a virtually sedentary, post accident lifestyle.  i've told my s.o. this but he refuses to believe me.  some days i feel attractive and some days i feel fat.  that's just how it is.  perhaps this has to do with water retention emotions, or just being a woman...

i'm never going to be 5' 10+", 120 lbs.  no, that will never happen - it is genetically impossible for me although as a child it seemed possible.  i will never have the chic modelesque stature society has set as 'perfection' and that which most women aspire toward.  in fact, i'm quite the oppsite ... SHORT, a bit muscular and sometimes i'm squishy here and there depending on the day.  oh well, right?

i wish there were a 'cure' for this 'feeling fat syndrome.'  the best thing i've found i can do is to appreciate my body as it is, focus on the positive attributes i possess rather than what i am not, and to consciously make an effort not to dwell on it but rather to do something about it. 

and if i have ever learned anything about body image in all my life this secret is one that might save a relationship or two ... men do NOT like to hear a woman say, "i feel fat" or "i've gained weight" or anything of the sort.  it makes them very uncomfortable.  and whether they agree with you or not (9x's out of 10 they don't see what we do) their minds begin to believe what you're saying although they will never admit to it.  thus you've just created your own problem by programming your s.o. to believe you're fat! 

if you have put on some weight; don't ignore it, don't dwell on it but rather do something about it.  and most of all do not continually speak to your s.o. about it in a negative way, i.e. "i'm such a fata$$" etc.  simply carry on as best you can mimicking the attitude you had when you felt attractive.  men are attracted to and influenced by how we feel about ourselves more so than what we actually look like! 

AbbyNormal AbbyNormal
31-35, F
1 Response Jun 29, 2007

Let me tell you something. I used to be 300lbs in 8th grade. Can you imaging how that was? Being 30 overweight is nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Theres many things you can do to lose those pounds but it is diffifult. At this very momment I find myself unhappy with my current weight which is 230lbs. Im 22 and 5´ 9´´. I am 50 lbs over weight! and I dont like it at all. But I am really not motivated to lose them even though I would really like to......But at one point I was 190lbs and i was motivated! If you want to be thin you will do it!