My Friend Took His Own Life

Summer two years ago I was on vication at a old place where I used to live. Going there was my highlight of the year when I got summer vication. It was all just free days hanging with my old best friends by the lake and just relax and talk.

One day I was on vication I got a phonecall from my mother, she asked me if it was (lets call him Joey johnson) Joey Johnson I used to hang out with a year ago. I replied yes and got some TERRIBLE news.

Im coming back to that, but first some backround story about me and joey.
He was one year older than me and I first go to know him trough another friend. We were like the 3 amigos we did everything togheter.
Then the other friend of mine moved away so I kinda lost touch with him and so did Joey.

Joey started doing drugs and became depressed more and more over time.
I tried to help him and talk him trough it, but he never listened to me and I simply got sick of being ignored because I had some experienced with this when it came to my brother (that story you can find on my profile).

But yet he ignored everything I said and continued doing drugs and he just blocked himself in and didn't even talk to his family.
I started to become really annoyed at him because of his behaviour. He wouldn't tell me what was bothering him because I sensed it was more than just the drugs.

But slowly I lost more and more touch with him. I simply got sick of talking to a high person that didn't even look at me or hear me when I talked to him. So it just ended up us not talking anymore.

*Back to the phone call from my mother*
She gave me some news I couldn't belive I was hearing.
He had jumped infront of a train at the train station.
This killed him ofcourse and I started feeling terribly guilty for "Giving up" on him.
There was more I could do to help him, but I let my anger towards him ignoring me get infront of what the problem was.

I just wish I could tell him how I felt and say the right words he needed to hear that last day.
AndYes AndYes
18-21, M
Dec 9, 2012