Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Am An Ignorant Lil Brat

My best friends husband lost his job about 6 months ago due to the ression he has not found a new job. My husbands job was not effected by the ression.

I had her over today so she could meet my new puppy and I (joking) made a comment about how bad her roots were. I was trying to imply that we do a salon day together, but appearntly those were fighting words. She flipped out at me saying how my husbands company took all the work, and I sit in my house and ignore the fact that everyone is suffering.  I didn't know what to say.  I do...  I am a bad friend. I did notice that she was shopping at value stores and that her children were in the same clothes and not ever wearing new ones. I just didn't want to talk about it I guess I thought it would be over by now and her hubby would be back to $100,000.00 a year and we could go shopping together for school clothes.  I tried to offer to take her out so we could talk, but she was just so mad at me. I am ignorant, and I take my life for granted a lot of the time. I feel aweful for flaunting my life at her I didn't mean to tho. I guess I  was just pretend that nothing had changed because I was expecting that nothing would. It seems that her being low income has changed our friendship and I fear that we will never go back now to the way we were befor :(

HisLady HisLady 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 13, 2009

Your Response

Cancel

I agree with Vaiolet, it’s not your fault that your friends husband lost his job. . . I also agree with your story premise that you feel guilty, and having a good heart, should & will feel guilty in the future whenever you remember the event. Believe it or not, that’s a healthy thing. . .

Many years ago I went to a family picnic alone a scenic river in Texas. Many of my family was there. All the kids of our family were always special to me and I went around to the many little family camps taking action pictures of family gatherings, and events. It was a happy time for all, or so I thought. . .

Latter while looking through my photos, I noticed a picture of a little girl that I knew well from babyhood to the moment. She was sitting in the trail, sad faced, with a stick drawing in the sand. The other kids were playing all around the campground, but here she sat all alone. I was so busy taking pictures of what I thought the moment should be like, that I didn’t pause for a moment to feel the sadness of a friendless little child.

It’s been decades but I still think back on that from time to time and agonize over my self-centeredness, my carelessness with others. I could have easily talked with her, involved her in a game and then involved other kids in our game. But no, like the careless fool that I can sometimes be, I just didn’t notice the blaringly obvious. I was too wrapped up in myself. . .

As humans, we WILL make mistakes. . . Sometimes there is no way to go back and fix your mistakes; just own them, learn from them, use them as the valuable learning tool that they are, and be a better person in the future. . . Best wishes. . . nwm. . .

PS. . . If you care about your friend, let her know your heart on this matter, she will love and respect you for it. . . But if she does not, then at least you have tried & will feel a sense of resolve in the future when looking back this matter. But if you do nothing to try to resolve the issue, (as I did nothing many years ago), when you think back on the time, there will always be a twinge of guilt. . . nwm. . .

Awez! thank-you

Reading your story made me think. I've had a friend since I was 3 who was not financially stable as my family was. I was going shopping with a lot of money and she would come with just a few cents. I always took her out, I payed things for her and she would say how it was not necessary etc..<br />
But, I mean, our friendship had always been the same. We would talk about our situations, make jokes and just not feeling guilty because it was not something we could change. Now her situation is worse but still, that doesn't mean that it's my fault and she would never be so angry at me. I think your friend was just too frustrated by what had happened to her hubby to notice how it was not your fault. I mean, come on, what would have changed? What if you were concerned about her and than she would have freaked out because " I don't need your help, only because you're richer it doesn't mean that you can treat people as if they all needed your support". I don't think that you did something wrong. I don't know what you could have done to change it, it's not something that YOU can change. You're still a good person, don't feel guilty, your friend was just too stressed about everything that has changed in her life and she just wanted someone she could blame for it. It's normal. She'll understand her mistake, and if she doesn't she doesn't deserve you.