Will It Ever End?
Im so sick of sitting here watching my life pass me by. It deflates me. I've lost 4 'friends' in the last nine months. I was so sick of being walked all over and treated like **** by them .So I made the decision to stop putting them first all the time.And let the friendships fizzle out. But now I feel so alone. I have 3 close friends. Only one lives close to me. My other 'friends' mostly are scattered around the country so i never get to see them. And the so called 'friends' that do live close by barely seem to know I exist. Yet when Im out so many people talk to me have great chats bla bla bla. But there all more acquaintances. What bugs me is that come the weekend Im left sitting in and when I meet all these acquaintances in work or in town they are like aww how come you werent out last night and I make up some ****** excuse when really its just because I dont have enough friends to go out with. I dont any girlfriends I can ring up and be like hey coming out for a drink. The two girls that are my friends one is on work experince in a diff country and the other girl lives two hours away so thats not gonna happen. Im only 21. It depreses me. Maybe when i move away in September ill make new friends that dont abuse my good nature as a person and use me for money or just as a crutch when there upset. Sigh.