I Hate My Life More and More

i got married at the age of 17 he was my one and only. we were expecting our first child. while i was pregnant he became cold and bitter. to me he was my one and only. he had helped me get through the most challenging moment of my life, when i had just turned 15 and i was raped. now i am 20 and things got worse. all we do is fight sometimes its even gotten physical. he only wants to be with his friends and drink. i just discovered that when i thought he was doing something he was actually on the phone at 1 a.m. talking to a girl he claims to be a friend from the past but he seems to into her. for the last week he has been coming home at 5a.m. he has completely abandon my son and me. i feel so alone. tomorrow its 5years since i got raped but he doesn't even remember. hes actually going on a trip with his friend. and if i ever need to get something off my chest he yells at me to get over it. i have moved on but moving on and forgetting are two different things. i don't know what to do i have no one to talk to. my son is my only reason to continue in life. but i sometimes wish i could disappear, its not like it would matter to anyone.

thehopeless thehopeless
8 Responses Feb 12, 2009

You need to tell him flat out that you love him and want the relationship to work out, but if he doesn't stop seeing the other woman and make time for his son, then you are leaving him and taking the son with. You really need to stick by what you say! If he continues with this behavior, you really need to follow through and LEAVE. I have made so many mistakes in my past, and your story is a painful reminder. Be strong, and be there for your son. Don't get so wrapped up in self-pity that you forget to be a mom.

I had a very similar story I got married to guy at eighteen he was nice and wonderfull at first and then he began mentally and physically abusing me.I loved him but didnt want to love him because he was a awfull person. I know how you feel you feel so alone. But I can assure you things will not get better they will get worse. I know you love him and you think you cant live without him but you can your stronger than you think, And it's not good for your son for you to be in this relationship. I have two daughters and they were so happy when me and there dad got divorced.You can find someone who will love you and treat you good and I am living proof. This time go for a nice guy dont jump into anything, focus on loving yourself and your son.

damn that man.<br />
look after yourself and your kid. Learn and do new things, could be anything like boxing so that you could protect yourself.<br />
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Men are JERKS<br />
don't know why i say this may be because they fall every beautiful lady they see.<br />
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thats why i hate myself sometimes.

well am sorry to hear but my sister had a simluar problem she got a child at age 13 and the father abandand her so i no that its a very hard thind to do

it's difficult to be sympathetic towards girls who go after bad boys and then discover some time later that they aren't perfect. i'm a good boy and as a result will likely be single forever. that's fine, i just wish girls wouldn't lead me on, and then get together with somebody abominable who doesn't care about them. you've brought this situation on yourself, but many girls do this. maybe most of them. you'll find the courage to leave this guy, be a strong single mum for a while, saying you are waiting for your kind, caring and funny Prince Charming to come along. but actually you'll end up with the next bad boy who comes along and spends 5 minutes being nice to you. you'll think he's different, or kid yourself into thinking you can 'change' him. truth is, girls love a bad boy. they can't help themselves. you want what you can't have, and convince yourself you don't deserve better. that, my friend, is ****** up. but that's girls for you. good luck!!

Leave the ******, go and live with your son, ask the police for protection, and search for someone who really loves you

Thats a difficult situation and you are brave that you still fighting and you should be brave for your son.. but in all your history i did not hear about your parents, where are they .. if they are still there so contact them and consult with them which can be helpfull for you.. <br />
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But now you should not lose heart because now you are not alone , now you have a son and who needs you and just be brave and take brave decisions but as i told you if you have parents or close relatives first consult with them rite and best of luck... <br />
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God bless you and your son..<br />
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It would matter to your son. He needs his mom.