Nothing InsideI dunno...it's something that comes back to haunt me every few days - like today. It's very random. Two days ago, I was happy and cheerful and now I feel so...gloomy. It goes away when I'm around people I love and when I'm having fun, but as soon as I'm alone, as soon as my mind is idle, it slowly creeps up on me. This hollowness, this emptiness envelopes me, surrounding my heart and mind until I just can't feel anything.
It comes to a point where I grow so desperate, to feel something, anything, that I have to literally fight the urge to self-harm.
I dunno...maybe it'll go away tomorrow. Meds don't work on me anymore. I try not to think about the future...but how can one stop themselves from thinking?
I'm a coward, aren't I? I resort to self-harm or depression to try to escape it all but it just makes it worse.
I can't help it. If I try to push back the feelings now, they'll only come back tomorrow. There's no point in trying to fight it.
DarkAngel123 18-21, F 2 Responses 0 Jun 20, 2010