Empty and Devoid of Direction
Have you ever felt like you lived someone elses life?
That... although you may have sub-consciously known who you are and what you wanted to do with your life... that somehow it had become (or were) the culmination of everyones expectations?
That by the time you realised (or was willing to face this reality) you were either to scared to see it through OR felt that you had become so entrenched in this image you couldnt feel you could change........??? well thats me right now...
Hi my name is Weever (well obviously not my real name but please... indulge me) IM 25 and I recently lost my job.
In the grand scheme of things I realised that job loss is not the worse thing that can happen ... and I also know that at this time of economic uncertainty, job losses is neither something unique or unexpected... but it hurts nevertheless.
Perhaps its because I have never truly lived, never experienced the full scope of human misery (or joy), that I find myself in the current predicament. Or perhaps its because it was my life and future that I now feel empty and purposeless.
In a world (or at least my world) where the first question from every friendly acquiantence is 'where are you working now?' its hard not to feel ashamed or an outcast.
I've spent the past 3 days searching..... looking for something to fill that void: a holiday, another job, something I can be a part of on the internet, some hobby I can take up..... but the problem is... when you never experienced that part of life..... where do you start?