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Missing

I feel like a whole part of me is missing that I am not even here sometimes and honestly not part of the earth. 

 

It isn't pleasant either.

 

Hollow feelings aren't what  i need right now.  i need my birthfamily! 

kthimm1 kthimm1 18-21, F 11 Responses Jan 19, 2009

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If you know what the obstacles are then maybe you could start to work with them. What are you afraid of?

one minute I feel fine, the other I just feel empty and hollow. like there's a huge gap within me that can't be fulfilled. It happens out of the sudden, like while I'm reading something or watching or even hanging out with friends. and it just makes me sad . so sad i'd wish i could just take off to somewhere and be alone to figure out what is wrong with me. I tried having "me - time " and it didn't really work. sometimes I think i know what i want but then i get confused again with obstacles coming through my way. and one thing that is that I'm terrified of facing these obstacles and getting over 'em. i don't know who i am anymore or what i want to be what i want in this life, i don't recognize anything anymore. It's irritating to feel lost somewhere you don't belong and not knowing where exactly you belong.

i think learning how to love yourself a little selfishly and complimenting yourself on a daily basis looking at your image in the mirror regardless of any criticism that could have been made by anyone and considering yourself the greatest can help a lot ,coz afterall your presence on earth makes the world exist for you if you weren,t part of it how would you know about it.

I am not sure it will.

know you do. i am praying that will work out for you!

Change my life? What do you mean?

Find it. If your way of life is interferring it may be time to change your way of life.

There wasn't any really. The feeling was always there. Its just been getting stronger lately.

To feel completeness and wholeness remember a time when you felt it and keep that feeling.

I've always had the feeling that I was never suppose to be born. Like I just somehow made it through the "white light" here. I never thought I've live to grow up. Always thought I'd die somehow. I remember when I gave birth to my Krista that I thought, "wow, maybe I am suppose to be here." Thoughs old feelings have now returned but being on medication helps. I still feel like an idiot thought. Like nothing I do is ever good enough. That most people are so much smarter than I am. I hate crowds. I don't feel normal around alot of people. When I talk I start to stamer and turn red and get really hot in the face. All I want is to feel normal and calm. The only person that understands me is my daughter Krista, she is a godsent. I'd die for her, she is my everything.

I feel ya... for me it comes and go... the only completeness I've ever really felt was thru God... But I've managed to stary far frm him, and well feeling like dat now... again... i need god again...