Show Me That You Care...

What do you do when something you feel you cannot live without is not working properly? You fix it. If you do something wrong, you spend hours trying to figure out how to either get it back to normal or make it better. You are a perfectionist, or so you say. Sadly for me, this only applies to your computer. When it comes to me, I seem to be expendable. When you've wronged me or hurt me, instead of doing anything to attempt to fix it, you lash out in anger and say ridiculously hurtful things to me. I am not asking for much. I just wish you would show some of the dedication you do to your electronics to me. I wish you wouldn't just act as if nothing wrong happened. I wish you would try to make amends. Show me you care, and you are sorry. I sit back and watch you spend hours trying to fix your computer, and I just go to a dark place and cry my heart out, because I feel like it would hurt you more to lose your files than to lose the "love of your life." I've struggled for years with self harm, and it takes every ounce of my being to not resort to that. But when I've been crying for hours, alone, with you in the other room not bothering to know where I am, the idea of lying in a puddle of blood becomes painfully inviting. I love you, and I know you are very introverted. I want to spend my life with you, but I need you to make me feel like I actually mean something to you.
RebelYellSours RebelYellSours
22-25, F
1 Response May 19, 2012

Now inviting as that may sound in a pool of blood...I guarantee it will not be the sorrow and regrets of loved ones or a release for your soul. If you survived it would be difficult to ever be taken seriously or trusted again. If you don't survive you go to a dark empty cold place and I have been there.
If you can't tell him how you feel calmly w o him getting upset ditch him...you need to be single for the guy who wants to fix yalls problems and make you smile.