Invisibility Is Key

I used to believe this. I managed to convince myself that I was perfectly fine being on the outskirts of whatever activities were going on. I never got invited to birthday parties (I never held them either) I've always lived outside of my school district, I've never dated, I only ever text people when they text me first and I generally seem to be acting as a cardboard cutout in the background of everyone else's life.

I used to be okay with that, but now that I'm approaching the age where I need to start worrying about colleges, so many realizations have come. I'm lonely. I could count people I actually enjoy being around on one hand, and I have never partaken in the usually high school experience. And what do I have to show for this? Advanced Intelligence? Many people i know believe I'm some sort of genius but no. Good grades from lack of distractions? Being lonely doesn't help the side effects of ADD. A better understanding of the inner workings of the universe? What do you think?
JustLazyLittleMe JustLazyLittleMe
18-21, F
1 Response May 22, 2012

Hang in there. I can relate to what you are feeling. I didn't socialize much as a child/ teenager. My father was very strict. Because of the lack of learning "social skills" I probably didn't learn how to put up with the "bs" people throw at you with mindless conversation. I have maybe 5 people I can call friends - these are people who know me and accept me for who I am. At times, I sit in conversations with colleagues and listen. Truth be known, most people talk about themselves or worse brag about themselves. Why do you think Facebook is so popular?<br />
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I know it gets lonely at times. Most people are lonely, most won't admit to it. Most people don't even know who they even are, they are too consumed trying to be who they think others want them to be. Most people like to get together with cocktails, why...Because they don't feel comfortable enough with who they are and they need to take the edge off. Drinking to take the edge off, I don't recommend. It is better to know yourself and love yourself.<br />
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I think you are ahead of the game. You already seem self aware. You are probably more mature than most in your age group.<br />
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I know all these words won't take the loneliness away, but maybe it will help you to know you are not alone in this.<br />
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Too help ease the pain, join activity groups where you will have common interest with people. Running, band, language, volunteering...there is something for everyone. You are young yet, so you have the opportunity to try it all.<br />
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Don't be discouraged. You are alright. We all go through this, some people are better at faking it than others. Keep you chin up and know you are not alone.

Thank you.