so im 26 and have two children 4 and 7.I do all i can for them i adore them.Right now it is difficult as my financial status isn't great so obviously im going to worry about there future,at the moment i genuinley feel cut off from the world im gone past partying and going out,all my focus is on my kids as im full time with them at home,ive tried to join things to get me back out there and do new things but a childminder doesn't come cheap and with being a stay at home mum my interests or wants always come second,i really feel as is life is practically stopped for me its so hard to grab myself back to who i used to be im not saying its unfair that i cant do anything because i had kids but i do feel lost,yes i chose to have kids early probably too young but id just like to know if anyone as been through this im finding it impossible were i live to meet decent friends who have the same hindsight as me , alot of single mums my age where i live seem to have the best life going out partying going on holiday ...maybe i seem jellous...maybe i am.... i love my children but i do want to regain even a part of who i used to be .....
cizzyfla cizzyfla
26-30, F
2 Responses Aug 21, 2014

Just one man's perspective here after 4 kids and 20 years of marriage. I think that Mom's give to much of themselves to their kids in some cases and to little in others.

Balance is a hard thing to strike but that is what is needed.

Me and my Wife literally did everything for our kids and now that the are 18, 17, 15 and 10 we feeling we did far to much for them and lost ourselves in the process. And the best part of it is of course the teens are all unhappy and causing great strife and pain for us now. Totally ungrateful for all of our sacrifice.

We need to remember that kids don't come into this world for us to learn how to live our lives from them, they come into this world to learn from us how they should live their lives.

Make sure that you step back sometimes and remember one day they will grow up, move out and blame you for all their short comings no matter how great a parent you are!

I can totally understand what you're saying. I'm a mother of 2 boys also (10 and almost 6). I'm not a stay at home mom anymore but up until 2 years ago I was. It drove me crazy!

I think it's easy to lose yourself when all of your focus is on your kids. It's easy to forget that your needs are important too.

Have you thought about getting a part time job? I know that helped me quite a bit. I was able to feel good about myself by earning money and also able to make new friends.

yeah my little boy is starting pre school in sept so at least ill have them hours each morning wether its a part time job or studying from home i know as they get older it gets easer its nice to kno im not alone lol i think onci et bck out there even if its a fitness class it would help im still so young and i know things will get better in time,thank you for youre reply :)

Those all sound like great ideas. I actually just joined a dance class, which I've been wanting to do for years now. You're right, you'll have more freedom as they get older. You'll find yourself again. :) Best of luck.