Where Did I Go?

   The only time I feel like me is when I'm baking, painting, throwing or helping with a party, some aspects of my job or when I'm shopping. I got lost somewhere over the years. I hate that. I know what I want people to see, but we all get wrapped up in things that that's not always what comes out. That's not what people see. They see the mother, the boss, the employee, the worker the whatever.

   Yes we are all of these things but what is the true me or you? And how do we keep that?

jrabbit1321 jrabbit1321
46-50, F
5 Responses Mar 19, 2009

I like what you said, thank you and it does make sense, and that's the thing, I don't really have companions in my life and outside forces have taken my job (that I loved) away from me. I don't have that feeling of accomplishment anymore and I'm craving it. I will listen to the song. And a great big THANK YOU for telling me to breath. I have a friend that used to remind me to do that. I haven't heard that in a long time. :)

I think your saying your life lacks cohesion? <br />
In each role you play, you feel like you have a different personality (for each).<br />
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If this is the case it would seem you are on the verge of asking "why do I do what I do ?" and concluding that it is time for a change.<br />
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This is a normal development, I believe, and I resist using the phrase "mid-life crisis". I would say it is time to remember 'something new'. That feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment. Liking the direction your life is taking. Gathering a sense of self, from your surroundings and companions, feeling fulfilled. <br />
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Unfortunately, I don't know you well enough to give any good advice, and I suspect we live in very different regions. So I can only suggest you give the song "everybody is free to wear sunscreen" a listen...and breath.

You are you will all the different things that you do, being a painter, baker, mother, worker, boss etc....you are all these things and more blended together to make who you are today.

Evolving from who you are is inevitable with time, but I bet when you're older you'll still have those feelings of your old self, although fewer in number and involving the new things in your life, I think ...

It's O.K.................. I found you............... smiles