When I'm Around Others, I Lose Myself.

I like being alone, by myself, all on my own. It's when I feel like I'm in control of my thoughts and actions. I don't feel comfortable sharing myself with others because I feel less worthy and confident than everyone. When I only exist to myself, I can be anyone who I wanna be. There's no rule and limit to what I can become when I'm inside of myself. The very presence of others tenses me up, unless I know you've seen me for who I'm. That's why it's so hard for me to make friends around new faces. I hate superficial pleasantries, niceties and smalltalk because they're all empty and meaningless words, even if that means I'll risk a potential friend.
I'm sorry if I'm quiet and reserved to you, whoever you're. You've probably met me at the wrong time and place. It's just unfortunate that we can't be friends. I'm saddened by the fact that despite my longing to be understood by people, I can't always be myself whenever I want to. My self-worth is deeply entwined with how smart, athletic and humorous I'm. And I don't feel in possession of any of the qualities most of the time. So I try to differentiate myself from others, since apparently I'm not like who you expect me to be, whoever you're.
I'll eat whenever I feel like it. There's no breakfast, lunch or dinner in my dictionary.
I wear whatever is comfortable to me. I don't have to dress to please your eyes and make you talk to me.
Please keep your judgement to yourself.
Many a time, I've faltered and moulded myself according to others.
But, I feel so much better every time I stay true to myself.
I hope that I'll never change for others.
nuttyfood nuttyfood
26-30, F
Jun 29, 2007