I Don't See What They See

people notice me more then i know they do

i have been randomly commented in highschool about my style or hair looking good

my friends even say i'm pretty or have striaght teeth and even a great smile-i only see those things when i take the perfect picture of myself then i start to envy the girl in the picture because even though i know it's me- i feel not the same the picture has something that i can't see

even the girl in the mirror-i know it's just my reflection but at times i find it better then myself-i'll stand in the bathroom mirror or the mirror in my room for a while just trying to get a glimpse of what they see so i can understand how they think that-i look at my eyes but i can't see anything i try to make a pretty smile but i don't see it..it's hard trying to make the smile apart of me i'm just trying to see the smile they see but it isn't working and it just feel as if  i don't know anything about myself...like the world knows more than i ever will about myself...even as i kid i stared at the reflection that i saw...just trying to see something amazing trying to see how others see me visually but it never works.

some people see the good in me the truth is i try so hard not to let anyone down and to always make everyone feel better and others see the great in me both outside of me and inside but it hurts and annoys me that i can't see it i began to wan't to argue it's not there i know it's not because i don't see it but instead i listen quitely to all the amazing thing everyone sees about me those things i will never see whether it be visually or not

i know i am undertanding-as i can always see anothers view point whether i agree on it or not

i know i am helpful because if i cannot help another to feel better i not only feel bad for not being able to help them but i feel how they're feeling

but it annoys me and hurts that i cannot see through the eyes of others that see into me

i'm not sure i said it clearly for you to undertsand what i mean but hopefully i did.

Loganberry Loganberry
18-21, F
Aug 10, 2007