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I've Felt This Way For Yrs

HI! MY NAME IS ARCHIE. I CAN CERTAINLY RELATE TO LIFE JUST PASSING ME BY. FOR YRS I'VE BEEN ALONE, LONGING FOR SOMEONE TO LOVE ME. (WELL, ALL MY LIFE ACTUALLY.) I FEEL THAT I'M REALLY NOT LIVING. I SIMPLY JUST EXIST. THERE HASN'T BEEN ANY THRILLS IN MY LIFE FOR YRS. BEING ALONE & LONELY ALL DAY -- EVERYDAY, IS JUST ROUTINE. I WANT TO HAVE SOMEONE SPECIAL IN MY LIFE. BUT, IF I SEE SOMEONE I FIND ATRACTIVE WHILE I'M AT A STORE, I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO GO OVER & SAY HELLO. I FEEL LIFE IS JUST PASSING ME BY & I FEAR I'LL BE ALONE TILL THE DAY I DIE. (WHICH I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO, THOUGH I AM NOT SUICIDAL.)
  ASIDE FROM A VERY ABUSIVE CHILDHOOD (I USE TO DAY DREAM A LOT. I GUESS PICTURING A BETTER LIFE??) IN '99, WHEN I WAS SEPARATED FROM SOME CHILDREN I HAD HELPED TO RAISE FOR 10 YRS, IT JUST TOOK THE LIFE OUT OF ME. I FEEL LIKE I'M JUST A LOST SOUL, WAITING TO GO HOME.
  I HATE FEELING SO DOWN & BEING DEPRESSED ALL THE TIME. I'VE BEEN LIKE THIS SINE NOV. 18, 1999, THE DAY MY KIDS (THOSE I HELPED RAISE) WERE TAKEN AWAY. MY LIFE IS SO EMPTY. I'M JUST HERE.
  I THINK MY LIFE WOULD BE BETTER, HAD I SOMEONE TO LOVE ME, & OF COURSE, MY LOVE FOR HER, BUT THAT HASN'T HAPPENED & IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT EVER WILL.
  I'M A CHRISTIAN & I STILL FEEL THIS WAY. I ENVY THE "HAPPY GO LUCKY" CHRISTIANS, WHO HAVE A NICE LIFE, & ARE SURROUNDED BY THOSE WHO LOVE THEM. GOD, WHAT ABOUT ME?
LITTLEBOYINSIDE LITTLEBOYINSIDE 41-45, M Apr 6, 2012

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