I'm Messed Up.

I have terrible thoughts. Sometimes I wish I was being abused, or raped, so people would feel sympathy for me. I'm a sicko for thinking something so terrible, and I know this. I also wish people around me were smart enough to see me for me. Because I can't. I don't know who I am or what kind of person I am, I make-up a new personality around everyone I meet, mostly so that person will like me better. I want to be a therapist but I sometimes wonder if I'm going to need my own. But I don't want anyone ever to see me as a terrible person, or to judge me, even a little. And I know if I confide my secrets in anyone, as I've never done before, that they'll judge me. I've had thoughts of self-harm, sometimes to punish myself, sometimes again to make other people feel sorry for me. I've scratched myself until I bled and I've felt completely alone and empty. And I've done this to myself. I hate myself, and I don't even know who I am. I just want it to stop.
Hippopotomus Hippopotomus
13-15, F
1 Response Sep 22, 2012

Hey... you're alright. You need someone to talk to, write me. Its anonymous so who cares about my damn opinion. I've heard the absolute worst. Trust me, there is nothing you can tell me that would surprise me. Take care and don't hurt yourself.