I Am Such a F***ing Idiot and Can't Stop Crying

I am going through a very hard time emotionally these days, and to overcompensate, I've been doing lots of projects. 

Today was "Home Improvement" day and I decided to clean the tub's drain (water wasn't passing anymore).  I got out my tools and made short work of it.  I used to work with my dad when he did contracting and got very handy with fixing things myself.

Then I moved to the ceiling fan.  The ball chain that clicks the light on and off came completely out when I went to pull the chain.  I think it was a weak chain, but I wouldn't ignore the fact I have a heavy hand sometimes. 

So it was supposed to be simple - I was just going to open the fan up and snap the chain back into place.  Turns out, it was wrapped around a shaft inside a little circuit box. To make a long story short, I now I have broken circuit box, two raw wires, a hell of a mess in my kitchen, and a deep fear that this ****'s going to catch on fire. 

I called my Dad (a former handyman/jack of all trades) and he yelled at me for even attempting to mess with it.  Amongst other things, he said, "I'm not an electrician," and "that was completely stupid" and "what the hell were you thinking?" 

I know he was just afraid for my safety and irritated that I just made more problems for myself that I am not in a financial position to be paying for, but I feel AWFUL and like a huge failure.  I can't stop crying long enough to call someone to fix this ****.  I just want to put my fist through a wall..... but they're concrete, not drywall, so I would lose that battle.

I ******* hate myself right now. 

LaMalquerida LaMalquerida
26-30, F
7 Responses Feb 8, 2009

ah.. thanks for making me laugh.. I'm sure it has all been fixed by now. It is soooooo frustrating when something that starts out looking easy becomes a major chore. Brilliant.. you see.. your little escapade was made to make me laugh when I was feeling blue... thanks.. hugs

Give yourself a break. He was way out of line, your trying to acquire new skills and save a little money. Live and learn, do more research next time.

Also don't forget to Google it. I have found out how to do practially anything imaginable with a little digging.

Just cool it and go to Lowes or Home Depot, take the old one with you, and you probably can find one that will replace it. Just show your Dad that that you "can" do it, and I am sure you can. Take your time and figure the thing out. It is really fairly simple.

I would of done the same thing, your dad shouldnt of got so mad, but my dad would of done the same thing

Ull u be ok hopefully ... Im sure this is not a huge deal... Wud say more but i dont think u need it cus im sure ur probably ok now unlike me where everyday is question for no reason at all anyway u r not a a idiot im sure ... im the idiot but thats another story anyway ... hope all is getting well...

IT WILL GET BETTER, DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. WE ALL HAVE DAYS LIKE THIS. AND BELEIVE ME THEY WILL BE BAD ONES AND THERE WILL BE VERY BAD ONES. CHEER UP.