What Happened?????

I`ll never remember this site so will someone please E-Mail Me.

PLEASE ! ! !

shegen@juno.com

I am now 56 years old, My children are 30,35,37. They are the best people I`ve ever met! In 1976 my wife & I seperated & in 1978 I became a single parent (divorce). I got  100% custody because the X abused my children (REALLY BAD) I was 22 years old & in my mind had the whole world before me(I gave up everything I was doing) & now I`m single parent with 2 kids & WHAT DO I KNOW???? (Imagine me:-) --22 years old , played in 2 bands...had a race car (IMSA) raced all over the east coast (7 months a year) & all of a sudden NOW i`m responsible for a 2 & 4 year old kid!?!?! I`m a man...How do I do this??? My dad once said to me your kids did not ask to be here...you asked them to be here by Your sexual activities. So what do I do?? The right thing (in my mind) to do is give my kids the BEST I can give them. So I gave up ALL that I (thought) I loved to be a DAD to my prodginity(SP). Another marrage...another BAD mom... My youngest is an ASE Master L1 Automotive Technician(that is like a SUPER automotive technician)(liscence provided by the WORLD government)(A son)...My daughter is a liscensed Insurance sales agent,Realestate sales agent & a licensed Barber all 3 liscenses provided by the Government, my oldest son does realestate appprisal(government liscense)also Automotive service adviser(also provided by the government) & now &`m liveing all by my self (in a house trailer)(oh GOD I`m trailer trash)& no longer seem important to anyone. Where did my life go??? I know as a father my first responsibility is to the people I chose to bring into this world. OK I DID MY JOB!!!!...  OK SO NOW what is left for me??? I surendered all I wanted & hoped for. Is there only death for me?? I`m now old, fat, ugly, bad teeth, my hansom youth is gone I gave all for my kids (this week i had to give $240.00 to my oldest so he did`nt lose his house)(I only make $3-400 a week) In my mind at this time th only thing left for me it to pass on & let go(DEATH). My children hardly ever contact me & when they do...It feel like they want something..........I am empty....I have nothing left to give(I have wants & desires)(Who will help me?????) HHHHHEEEELLLLPPPPPPPP

The emotional pain I feel is beginning to feel SO overwheliming!!!!!!!!

I feel SO ALONE.

I`m glad I could help my children to succede

WHO WILL HELP ME????

Harold Whitmore

shegen@juno.com

704-891-5076

Charlotte, NC

2/15/2009

Love to ALL

 

HGene HGene
51-55
Feb 15, 2009