Trying To Improve But Getting Nowhere

I have been working on myself for a while now.  I suffer from depression, have low self-esteem, and have trouble taking responsibility for my actions.  I am currently in therapy and am taking meds.  So far, it seems to work.

Over the last few years, I have forgave several people who have hurt me in the past, as well as acknowledged my part in hurting them (if applicable).  I have accepted responsibility in my response to certain people who have been a thorn in my side by changing my attitude.  I have taken the initiative in trying to find a new job by revamping my resume and searching the job boards.

I seem to be right on track.

The issue I have is that even though I am doing all the right things for a while now, I am not seeing the fruits of my labor. Yes I am aware that the economy is slow and very few people are hiring. But with all the applications and resumes I've sent out, I would of expected an interview by now, let alone a phone call.  I've been looking for another job for the last four years and have gotten a total of twelve calls and maybe seven interviews.  I have been proactive and have done all that I can in terms of checking my resume, researching the job/position, and even dressing the part whenever I am fortunate in getting a face-to-face interview, but to no avail.  It's like I can't catch a break!

Along with the job issue, I realized that it's been 11 years since I had a significant other.  My last boyfriend was in 2002. (If you read my other stories, you can fully understand my plight.)  I have gone through hell in dealing with losers who see me as nothing more than a walking *** receptacle. I have stopped engaging in actions that would attract these men (like going onto chat rooms), which results in having NO male interaction.

I am a pretty decent woman.  Yes I am overweight, but I try to look nice as I am working on it.  I have a great sense of humor and a good personality (which is probably the kiss of death to many men)  I am smart, talented, and a hard worker.  Yet I can't seem to get noticed in the working or social world.  Even with all the things I've been doing, I feel like can someone throw me a bone here?  I know it' snot right to do things to get a reward but I would feel much better if I could get some incentive so that I know I'm going in the right direction.
BlkSpinster BlkSpinster
36-40, F
Jan 22, 2013