Never Got To Be A Kid

im a 25 year old guy,am indian..i really dont remember ever being a child.Had to grow up real family was broke,that meant no birthdays ,no gifts ,no cake,i did not even have toys to play the time i was 11 when other kids were out there being ..well i was busy thinking up schemes to make money so i could maybe make my family happy and they would start loving me..i was neglected to such an extent that one day at school when my friend's dad gave me a friendly hug ,i fainted ,cause i had been craving attention for such a long time..i was 10 at the time,also was physically abused at home on a daily basis.then at age 12 through 14 i was sexually abused ,then came the drugs,crime(hooch smuggling,weed and brown distribution,loan shark,hired thug)violence,lots and lots of violence..i was a pretty good free style martial artist and wasnt shy to use my skills..all this by the age of 17-18,by that time i had become too hot for my lil indian costal town..then i moved to a bigger city started learning 3d animation,i was always a artiste at heart but life had other plans,and now when i look back i dont know what to do,i really want to know what it means to be a kid at least for a little be told whats right ,whats be guided.loved..and for once be treated like a kid ,that i know ,even after all i've gone through, i still know that lil boy is still in here somewhere and i fell him curled up in the corner just waiting for someone to hold him and say ''everythings gonna be here''. .
infernorai infernorai
22-25, M
Dec 14, 2012