10 At Heart

I am a transgendered man. I was assigned female at birth, but ive always been a boy. I always wanted short hair, boys clothes, boys toys, ext. and it was easy to be myself and I was happy. Once puberty got started everything changed. I felt it was just deeply wrong whatever was happening to me, and it was the first time I actually had to face the fact that I was female. I felt like my body was rebelling against me. It was taking this crazy left turn, and my mind was staying put right where it was, boyhood.

I was a happy kid, and really extroverted, but when the changes started happening, I became really depressed and shy and introverted. I would stare in the mirror at my growing chest nubs for hours, trying to squish them back in. I would cover them up and look at the boy in the mirror, and I was happy with my appearance. When I uncovered them, I hated the ugly weird girl I became. It was a really painful and confusing time.

Now I finally understand what I am. I feel like even though im 23, im still in the begining stages of puberty. My brain needs and is waiting for Testosterone to finish growing up.

I look just like an adolescent boy and I know at heart and in my head I am still 10 or 11. I get a ***** for no apparent reason, all the time. I suck my thumb sometimes, and sleep with my baby blanket every night. I like climbing trees, building things, going on adventures, camping, and burning stuff. I play with cards, video games, legos, checkers, marbles, my slingshot, army men and I dont go anywhere without a compass and a pocket knife. My dog is my best friend.

I wear tee shirts with school logos and sports alot, and baggy shorts with lots of pockets (I love pockets) and alot of baseball caps. I wear boy's underwear, with superman and dinosaurs and animals and treehouses (my favorite pair) and regular plaid boxers. Im usually in my favorite bright red high-tops for shoes.

No wonder its so hard to buy beer. especially since my license photo is me with long hair. I've been accused of trying to use my older sister's ID many times haha

richcreek richcreek
22-25, M
1 Response Jan 14, 2013

I'm a Trans man to. I feel like I'm somewhere between 18 and my current age of 28. 10 and 28.