Just Read The Title!

Yeah, thats right, I feel like one, big, gigantic loser. AARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!

What are you supposed to say? Ooh I'm feeling so sorry for myself right now and they say, well do something about it then. Well I have, I have tried and tried and I just keep slipping, if its not bloody depression, its anxiety or thinking you want to do physical damage to yourself, you don't want to die but you sure as hell want to numb the emotional pain and ruminating thoughts that you just seem to find impossible to control, I just want to physically convert the emotional pain, the dullness, like a rusty nail or something. Things are good for awhile and then you feel like such a **** for not being more with it like all the others, I don't want sympathy, I just need to vent and since I don't have any proper friends and I really don't thats why I'm spending my days curled up in bed and find the world an ugly place, I find conversation and starting them far more difficult than what I used to, everyone is judging me and feel like I have to perform under social situations and I find it utterly exhausting. The things I am studying no longer interest me neither does spending a day on a beautiful beach, its just a flat out picture with a few murky palm tree's. Therapy in a weeks time, fantastic!

 

bubblegum84 bubblegum84
26-30, F
Feb 16, 2010