Unexpected Revelation

I was emailing a close friend tonight and I was trying to share how I was feeling and I made the statement that I feel each day like a piece of me is dying. I had to stop typing cause I broke down in tears for about 10 minutes. I sat back down to continue my thoughts and found myself apologizing for getting so deep because I wasn't expecting that level of thought to hit.
My back story goes back to 1993 when I got married the first time. Divorced in 1998 and married my best friend in 2001 and divorced him in 2007. Now 2012 we are living together for the 2nd time since the divorce but I don't get child support or any support for my 2 kids while I live 3000 miles away so I moved closer thinking it was going to me it easier on me. Anyway, each time I do this I regret it even when we were married and separated and I moved back with him, then he with me then divorce. What is going on?
msgemini71 msgemini71
41-45
May 21, 2012