Two things I don't understand in life. I don't know why God made me and why He loves me. I've betrayed Him so many times.

Two things I know in life. He made me and bought me back. But I don't know why.

I'm tired of the fight. Weary of the feelings. Drained of hope. What is the point of all this?

Pain. Resentment and bitterness. I can't escape it. I can't find lasting peace and happiness. I know I'm holding into poisonous things but I feel like that's all I have left. The good things eroded. If they ever were even truly there at all.

Choices. We have them. I chose the path of God before and believed the promises that rarely came. I know they're true. But I want to see them come to fruition. I'll always believe God is real. His word to be true. I know it's in His timing but I feel abandoned yet again. And I want to give up.

At the end of the rope. What if I let go instead of tying a knot? Is it worth holding on to the crap? Maybe free falling would be better. Maybe taking a chance to be caught by God on the way down. What's so great about holding on? It's symbolic of a lifeline but I already feel dead.

God, catch me.
Ludavin Ludavin
51-55, F
2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

Everyone on earth today has inherited sin—a chronic failure to measure up perfectly to God’s requirements. However, God “loved us and sent his Son [Jesus Christ] as a means of appeasement for our sins.” (1 John 4:10) Everyone on earth today has inherited sin—a chronic failure to measure up perfectly to God’s requirements. However, God “loved us and sent his Son [Jesus Christ] as a means of appeasement for our sins.” (1 John 4:10) God makes it possible for us to have forgiveness of sins, a clean conscience, and the hope of eternal life in a peaceful new world. “I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and handed himself over for me.” (Galatians 2:20) http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/wp20140801/god-comforts-you/

Yes. I accepted Jesus as my savior years ago. But it doesn't fix all problems. I know that. I also accept He is Gods son. The Messiah. And I appreciate the link but do not believe the JW religion. But thank you. His word is true. Thank you for the verses. I need to take his word in more to fight the lies. It's not easy.

NP, take care of yourself.

You're very poetic. I feel your pain and understand your questions. I think we just have to stay prayerful and faithful. One of the great things about God is not always understanding everything he's put here for you or done for you. Understanding is the beauty of heaven. It's what makes heaven desirable. Seeking understanding and answers to your pondering questions is in fact taking your focus off of Him. He is and should always be the primary focus. Use the time you spend questioning Him to praise Him, and your questions will soon be answered.

Thank you for the encouragement. I've been stuck in this place so long. I'm tired of life. I recently started reading the bible again but I see promises I can't see in my life and I feel worse. So I'm frustrated