I Know

"I feel like i am a burden to the people i love" I feel like this ALL the time. It stresses me out heaps. I can put on a front and pretend that i am okay because i don't want to worry them with why i feel like s***. Then i just lose it and can't keep up the pretence any longer. Drives me nuts. I am scared to open up and tell friends exactly how i am feeling because i think that they won't understand and most importantly They have enough to deal with-with their own family. They say i am not burdening them but i know i am.

It's a cycle. I feel good and they are the days that i normally don't see them and then there are days when i do see them and they are the days when i feel like s***. But sometimes when i need to tell them how i am going they are mostly days when i want to commit suicide. I do not tell them that because i don't want to disappoint them. Well i feel like i will be disappointing them. I don't know-go figure.

wowpup wowpup
41-45, F
5 Responses Feb 8, 2010

The problem is that i do think alot about doing that. When i feel like this-i think about mum and how she used to OD all the time and eventually she achieved what she had set out to do since i was a small kid. I wonder why i was flagged. Thats bad. I do have severe depression. More bloody pills. Thanks for helping me out.

Yep you are right!!!!

You know what..I'm more than a survivor now but yes..I did get tired of it! One thing though..if I wouldn't have been a survivor..I wouldn't have the wonderful life that I have now.I probably wouldn't be here at all.

Do you get tired of being a survivor?

I just wanted to say that we all have good days and bad days and it's ok.It's great that you have people who care and love you!<br />
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Your doing great and you'll get through it...remember..your a strong person..a survivor!