well were to start... i was married for 7 years and it had it up and lots of downs. he thought that he came before the kids and no one does that. so he had to go and i thought i found this guy that made my head spin well yeah he did. things went good at first then he got a friend that had him running around with younge girls..... 2 of them and there was 2 of them telling me that they were for his friend ok i was stupid... well after i found out he was dating one then wanted me back ....... well lets just say i was stupid again. things went good for awhile but that friend was not gone yet so yeah it still had its up and downs.. the friend left or i was going. then well he got a room mate....... yeah it was a girl. then i was everything under the sun.... well to make a long story short i found i was pregnet and it was that house or us... and he can home so it was good for awhile then well yeah it was another girl again........ right after i had the baby.... well then he went to jail and yeah then i ****** up and now its another **** up in the relationship. well he gets out and we say we both need to stop for are son and well now its another kid later and well its like i'm married all over again. i'm with someone and yet i feel that he don't want to be here but is and he hated to sleep in are bed....... he trys to tell me that its because the new baby want to sleep in are bed but really its not...... and he runs out the door when ever he gets the chance and well even the cuputer and his music comes before me and him......... he really don't want to be here i don't think. all we do is fight. maybe all the fights should of told me something. but yet stupid.... and i do love him but i hate to feel alown. even when there is someone and you feel all alown its crazy this should be are happest time and yet its like the worst time in the world . unsure of what i should do. i don't want to ever make anyone think they have to stay because i have kids thats no reason to stay........ and i don't want to make someone feel like they need to be unhappy.all i want is to not feel alown all the time

lovememore lovememore
31-35, F
2 Responses Nov 17, 2008

you are a wonderful woman and your only problem is that you loved. That is not a problem it is what the world needs to see. If you look at Christ he died for all of us to be in eternity. He loved and his own loved Him not. You loved and your own (boy friend or husb) loved you not. You must be closer to Jesus than alll of us. When you pray will you ask jesus to help me and the lady above me who wrote the last comment. my prayers to as well. Also, lovememore. there is a simple way for you to literally feel a power from God and in a way you'll know it is not from the devil. If interested just ask ok

lonliness is the hardest thing to overcome alone, i am so sorry he is not there for you, you need to find the strength within yourself to love and let be inside, for all we can do is love or feel at least that we are doing the right thing, with my situation, i spent a lot of time alone because i didnt want to chose between kids and men, and wanted to give kids what i thought they deserved, but now, they are ungrateful for most everything i do for them...they dont understand and i dont expect them too, for they are kids and depend on me 100%, but as for the damn man....are you kidding me, i will not have another man make me feel like everything i have done alone is fruitless or not meeting to their expectations, **** that, i love them and care for them and love them more, and apparently that just seems to push them more into their comfort zone..........of me not included unless it is in bed...........that is not working out so well for me either.............just know you are so truly loved!!!!!!!!!! People do care about you and dont want you to feel lonely or alone............kisses babe!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!