I Seriously Feel Like Something Is Trying To Ruin Me On All Fronts

I don't why but I really feel, after the last 3 or 4 years, that something beyond my immediate sensory experience is seriously trying to make me as miserable as it can.
I worked really hard to get a good job in a profession I loved, then in 2008 the credit crunch happened and jobs in my profession went to zero. I re-trained as a teacher and from that moment my life went downhill fast. I got through training but my first job was a nightmare, awful kids who were really attached to my predecessor, a bullying superior and a useless headmaster meant I had to leave. I worked on supply after that and then finally got a job butt that went downhill too when they found out I left my last job under a cloud til the point I failed my NQT and now cannot legally teach even if I wanted to.
The experience played havoc with my health, teaching took up ALL my spare time so I lost track of all my hobbies,my health suffered as i could not exercise, my mental health suffered, I was on medication at one point, and now after all that I am unemployed during a triple dip recession just at the moment that our Govt. are demonizing benefit claimants and making it harder to claim assistance (even though the poor economy is the fault of the wealthy banking elite and the Govt's own mishandling of the crisis). I have been vilified, hated, made poor, brought low, ridiculed and made to feel like i am useless and the dregs of the society for failing as a teacher and being unemployed. Money is tight and I know my wife, whom I love dearly, is unhappy.
I apply for jobs get nowhere even with a degree, 2 postgrad qualifications and good working experience. I almost feel like my name is blacklisted somewhere the amount of pre-interview rejections I get. I have no money, I cannot live, I can no longer treat my wife and am dependent on her for rent and food. I feel like something somewhere is deliberately crushing the life out of me for some reason.
I wish I knew why. I'm no angel, as far as my honesty or whatever goes I'm about average with the vast majority of the human race and I have always worked hard for everything I have and not imposed myself on anyone, yet I see liars, the deceitful, the selfish all doing well and I'm struggling so hard even for a basic wage.What have I done to be attacked like this? Chased out of my chosen profession, failing in 2 teaching jobs and abused while I'm at it, finding myself unemployed for the first time in my life right in the middle of the worst depression since the 30's AND when the Govt. are scapegoating unemployment claimants as the cause of all evil when I've always been a proud working man whose worked hard, studied, applied himself and never scrounged off anyone in his life I really feel like something is out to get me, but why?
Nomoretomorrow Nomoretomorrow
41-45, M
1 Response Jan 13, 2013

Don't know is anyone had read this but just recently things have taken a small up-turn. I left teaching and was unemployed for a few weeks but I now have a job offer to start on the 4th Feb. I think the turn around came when I decided I was going to take no more and instead of being a passive victim I made my mind up to fight back I personalised my oppression and told it I was not going to take it lying down any more and was going to fight it all the way. Whether there is something trying to crush me and it backed off or I have (more likely) discovered a great psychological tool I don't know but it seems to be working, within a couple of days of "telling it" it could not beat me I received interview offers and secured at least one job so far - I have other interviews to go to still. Things are looking up at last.

Sadly since the above my life has begun to deteriorate again, once again my new job has proven to be a source of hell rather than my salvation. My immediate supervisor hates me and makes life stressful for me, I am surrounded by people who dislike me and I am making so many mistakes as a result of my stress that its unbelievable. I am facing being given the chop from this job very soon. The only glimmer of light is that my wife has a job down south where i might be able to get back into my old career but even then I ma facing application rejection. I got 2 interviews but didn't get the job in either and now I have a feeling my immediate supervisor is giving me bad references so I get no more interviews. As a result i am so stressed and getting things wrong, losing things and making mistakes both at work and at home. People might say I am the only one who can stop this but believe me I am no quitter, I am fighting and fighting and fighting but every time I think something might just go right for me it falls apart in front of me. The last 4 years have been hell and getting worse. What have I done to deserve this. I now constantly think of suicide.

Well well well. I quit teaching and the above job and moved down South. After working in minimum wage retail for a while I am now back working in a school - though not as a teacher. Although the cash isn't brilliant we are getting by. I have a chance to get more experience to move back into museums using my teaching experiences to work in museum education and am using my school holidays to do volunteer work in museum education and complete other actions that will help find a job in this field. I feel as though I have been given yet another chance and although there are some difficult people where I work (where isn't there!) I have the ability to make sure they do not have an impact on my aims using what I have learned from past experiences. Things are bwginning to look up for me and hopefully and I am trying to make the best of the situation, looking on the positive side of things, keeping cheerful, learning from past mistakes and experiences and working bloody hard. I may not get there but I am not giving up and I am not down yet. Let's do this!

Update. Got promoted at new job and took on extra duties and a casual second job and am now earning well and relatively settled. After a few months of blissful joy I've suddenly been hit by a low mood. Not sure why except I'm getting old and it's beginning to show (especially a thinning spot). 'Course if that's the only problem I face life must be good. Hoping my low mood sorts itself out, I get over my current obsession with the thin patch I've actually had for 14 years and not been bothered by until now and start to enjoy life again as I was doing. Here goes!