I Feel Like I Can Never Do Enough...I'm 18 and I'll be earning my associates degree in a small community college in the Spring... I'm looking for a job, but want something a more than a fast-food job...
I'm often told that I'm young, rude, selfish and arrogant by other older women. I feel like a lost cause. I feel like I'm never good enough, and that I can't have good, healthy relationships with other women, and in some cases men.
Women always pick out my flaws, or tell me I'm arrogant for expecting more of myself, or expecting more to happen... while most of my relationships with men often get too carried away, and these friendships often break off. I don't want to be anti-social, because I love people. I have many acquaintances, but I'm afraid to make actual friends.
I am a tomboy, and I'm going into a forensic psychology, so I'm going into a pretty masculine career choice... I almost feel like I intimidate other women from being my friend, but then I think of how selfish or arrogant these older women say I am and think that I'm just being too self-centered. I would make friends with women my own age, but they're more interested in "hanging out," "partying," or "boyfriends" ... and in all honesty, I just want to work on having friendly people to talk to and advancing in my career.
I feel like I'm a failure, not as a person, really, but as a woman. I'm 18, single, and don't have children... so I don't fit in with older women... yet I find a lot of girls my age not to be serious enough. I guess that means I feel like a menace, too. I'm not really depressed, but I just don't know what to do next... so I keep on living life.