I Never Envisaged Being In This Position At My Age

I think 40 is too old to be having babies and getting married.   I know there is a lot of people out there meeting the right person in their 40s and even older but why is it I feel its too late?

I look around at a lot of stuff in my room and while there are some things I can keep and wear I don't see me wearing all of it.   

it just all came 20 years too late.  I may need it to help pay for the cats or just give some of it away to some kid who has no parents

the thing is that I have things I still want to do in life and complete my education .... its not out of conceit ... god forbid that momentary lapse of reason... its for a job .... its always been for a career and job.  

I know people out there are changing careers all the time and study something new... there is nothing wrong with re-skilling to help find work

just about everyone has to do it unless they are super rich.... and I am not rich...


I don't understand the world anymore.  I don't understand a thing in the world ...  old people and young confuse me.


I just feel its too old to look at some dynamo career or babies or marriage.


I am just trying to survive now.
czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
36-40, F
1 Response May 24, 2012

eg if I did have herpes with this rash ...I never want to have a caesarean birth and therefore having a baby is out of the question.