No Matter What

I have struggled for so many years to keep things together, but bit by bit things keep getting eroded away...marriage, kids, work, finances...I keep up appearances, but it seems like nothing I ever do is good enough & people don't take me seriously when I tell them I need help.  I have even contemplated, well...you know, but sense of duty/responsiblity prevents me from taking the easy way out.  Used to think life had to have a silver lining...but now am figuring someone else found it because no matter what I do I am losing ground...I guess when you grow up being told you'll never amount to anything & people expect you to be a failure, eventually, no matter what you do to break the mold, you become what they saw...

Peregrinita Peregrinita
46-50
2 Responses Mar 3, 2010

Oh, my heart goes out to you! I will keep you in my prayers - no one should have to go through what you are!

I totally feel where you are coming from. I am raising my grandchildren because my daughter has a herion problem but somehow that is my fault. I have been sick with stage 3 cancer but my other daughter thought oh well she is okay she is not sick enough to worry about. Now with all the things causing my health to be bad from the cancer treatment, I see 5 different docs and am raising my 10, 7 and 4 month old grand children and I work full time much less keep running my personal business. My oldest son who is 18 is all about the money. He says he loves me but I feel it's only when I have money for him. I am 50 when is life suppose to be easier???